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I've had bad luck in my two previous marriages. The first wife left me, and the second did not. ­

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Left
Two
Firsts
First
Marriages
Previous
Luck
Second
Wife

More quotes by Woody Allen

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I spend a lot of time idly. I go to sporting events, play my clarinet. I practise. But if you work every day, a certain amount on a steady basis, the work accumulates.
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If you can delude yourself by believing that there is some kind of Santa Claus out there who is going to bail you out in the end, then it will help you get through. Even if you are proven wrong in the end, you would have had a better life than a non-believer.
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The film studios learned to our dismay but to their pleasure that if they spent $200 million making a film they could make half a billion on it. So they were not interested anymore in quality films... They can't afford to be that risky at those prices. Consequently you're getting a lot of remakes, sequels, dopey comedies full of toilet jokes...
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When I first started, there were writers that I looked up to that I felt very influenced by and very respectful toward their work and their opinion of my work.
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I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.
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I do feel it's important to have some kind of faith in something, but [it is] impossible for many of us. I personally don't have any faith in anything, but it's great if you can.
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That (sex) was the most fun I ever had without laughing.
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Those who can't do, teach!
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I'm a teleological, existential agnostic.
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Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.
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You'll find as you go through life that great depth and smoldering sensuality don't always win.
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My grandfather had a wonderful funeral... On the buffet table there was a replica of the deceased in potato salad.
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Life is full of moments that are good - winning a lottery, seeing a beautiful woman, a great dinner - but the whole thing is tragic. It's an oasis that is very pleasant.
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All the crap they tell you about... getting joy and having a kind of wisdom in your golden years - it's all tripe.
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I'm really impotent against the overwhelming bleakness of the universe and the only thing I can do is my little gift [filmmaking] and do it the best I can, [...] which is cold comfort.
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If I could only see one miracle, just one miracle. Like a burning bush, or the seas part, or my uncle Sasha pick up a check.
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I can't express anger. I grow a tumor instead.
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I idolized Superman when I was younger. I thought he and I had a lot in common. He was always going into phonebooths and taking off all his clothes.
Woody Allen
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I don't believe in God. Just try getting a plumber on the weekend.
Woody Allen