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I don't mind dying... as long as I don't have to be there when it happens.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Dying
Happens
Long
Mind

More quotes by Woody Allen

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I write about what I want to write about, and so the film comes out as a very personal expression even if its subject matter is totally prefabricated.
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In my next life I want to live backwards. Start out dead and finish off as an orgasm.
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Someday the lion is going to lie down with the lamb, but the lamb isn't going to get much sleep.
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I don't inhale because it gives you cancer, but I look so incredibly handsome with a cigarette that I can't not hold one.
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Umlaut snaps around and we cut to a blond apparition in her early twenties, clearly descended from Olympus by way of Hugh Hefner's mansion.
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What I do know about physics is that to a man standing on the shore, time passes quicker than to a man on a boat - especially if the man on the boat is with his wife.
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In real life, Keaton believes in God. But she also believes that the radio works because there are tiny people inside it.
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What' s the matter with me? Why can't I be cool?
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I am plagued by doubts.
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I wouldn't necessarily want to be a big muscular guy. It's nice to be gorgeous whether you're male or female assuming you don't lose whatever else you have.
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I can't with any conscience argue for New York with anyone. It's like Calcutta. But I love the city in an emotional, irrational way, like loving your mother or your father even though they're a drunk or a thief. I've loved the city my whole life - to me, it's like a great woman.
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I have an intense desire to return to the womb. Anybody's.
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It has become harder and harder in the United States to make films unhampered by outside influences. I've always been able to steer clear of that and keep the business people out of my hair completely.
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I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.
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The process of making films is so technically demanding that it's a distraction. You don't spend your time thinking about the philosophical content, which is often very depressing.
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Humorists always sit at the children's table.
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Those who can't do, teach!
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I'm giving [my analyst] one more year--then I'm going to Lourdes.
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Standard mathematics has recently been rendered obsolete by the discovery that for years we have been writing the numeral five backward. This has led to reevaluation of counting as a method of getting from one to ten. Students are taught advanced concepts of Boolean algebra, and formerly unsolvable equations are dealt with by threats of reprisals.
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I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
Woody Allen