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Where I grew up in Brooklyn, nobody committed suicide. Everyone was too unhappy.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Committed
Nobody
Grew
Everyone
Brooklyn
Suicide
Unhappy
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I don't want to achieve immortality through my work I want to achieve immortality through not dying. I don't want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen I want to live on in my apartment.
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When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
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The last woman I was in was the Statue of Liberty.
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I see the glass half full...but of poison.
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The process of making films is so technically demanding that it's a distraction. You don't spend your time thinking about the philosophical content, which is often very depressing.
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I have great faith in the actors. When they improvise, it always sounds better than the stuff I write in my bedroom. When they improvise, they make it sound alive.
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New York is my home and I have a particular fondness for it. I think it's a place where you can generate any kind of story wonderfully. But I also would be very happy to make a film in Paris or Rome.
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Umlaut snaps around and we cut to a blond apparition in her early twenties, clearly descended from Olympus by way of Hugh Hefner's mansion.
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Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.
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There's nothing wrong with you that a little Prozac and a polo mallet can't cure.
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But what if everyone in the world behaved like me and came here and shot Brisseau through the ear? What a mess! And of course we'd need valet parking.
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Child molestation is a touchy subject... Read the papers! Half the country's doing it!
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Every hooker I ever speak to tells me that it beats the hell out of waitressing.
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