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Side Effects Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on the weekend. Woody Allen Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Love
Tension
Sex
Effects
Alleviates
Side
Plumber
Sides
Alleviate
Causes
Allen
Getting
Woody
Trying
Weekend

More quotes by Woody Allen

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Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
Woody Allen
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Regarding love what can you say? It's not the quantity of your sexual relations that counts. It's the quality. On the other hand if the quantity drops below once every eight months, I would definitely look into it.
Woody Allen
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Don't worry, I know almost exactly what I'm doing.
Woody Allen
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Never shoot up in the air when you're standing under it.
Woody Allen
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The audience goes to sleep really quickly! If you have a slight pause at the wrong time, that's it!
Woody Allen
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Why not? Life is short, life is dull, life is full of pain - and this is a chance for something special.
Woody Allen
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When I am in New York, I want to be in Europe, and when I am in Europe, I want to be in New York.
Woody Allen
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When I asked my mother where babies came from, she thought I said rabies. She said you get them from being bitten by a dog. The next week, a woman on my block gave birth to triplets... I thought she'd been bitten by a Great Dane.
Woody Allen
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Notes for a ballet, The Spell: ... Suddenly Sigmund hears the flutter of wings, and a group of wild swans flies across the moon ... Sigmund is astounded to see that their leader is part swan and part woman - unfortunately, divided lengthwise. She enchants Sigmund, who is careful not to make any poultry jokes.
Woody Allen
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His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
Woody Allen
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There are three things Jewish people worship-God, Chinese food and wall-to-wall carpeting.
Woody Allen
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I'm not saying I didn't enjoy myself, but I didn't.
Woody Allen
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I think that the tendency for most people is to fall back on a comic interpretation of things because things are so sad, so terrible. If you didn't laugh you'd kill yourself. But the truth of the matter is that existence in general is very very tragic, very very sad, very brutal and very unhappy.
Woody Allen
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The only love that lasts is unrequited love.
Woody Allen
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Who's the bigger idiot, the idiot or the idiot who gets fooled by the idiot?
Woody Allen
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The less I speak to the actors, the better. And I always hire great people, and I don't want to impose my pre-conceived notions on them. They know how to play it.
Woody Allen
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A fast word about oral contraception. I was involved in an extremely good example of oral contraception two weeks ago. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
Woody Allen
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After 60, all of us belong to the weaker sex.
Woody Allen
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Early in life, I was visited by the bluebird of anxiety
Woody Allen
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When it comes to sex there are certain things that should always be left unknown, and with my luck, they probably will be.
Woody Allen