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Why ruin a good story with the truth?
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Ruin
Ruins
Story
Stories
Truth
Good
More quotes by Woody Allen
Comedians have a tendency to have a limited range, they tend to do one thing and do it very well, but it's limited.
Woody Allen
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
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[An audience conditioned by a lifetime of television-watching is so corrupted that] their standards have been systematically lowered over the years. These guys sit in front of their sets and the gamma rays eat the white cells of their brains out!
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I always write the same way. I always write with a yellow pad and a ballpoint pen on my bed. And then I go and type it up afterwards. I've always done that. Those things become habitual.
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It figures you've got to hate yourself if you've got any integrity at all.
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When a doctor makes a mistake, it's best to bury the subject.
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Heaven knows, we all make mistakes. That's life - and chess.
Woody Allen
I keep wondering if there is an afterlife, and if there is will they be able to break a twenty?
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Because it's much more pleasant to be obsessed over how the hero gets out of his predicament than it is over how I get out of mine.
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I don't believe in God. Just try getting a plumber on the weekend.
Woody Allen
When the Academy called, I panicked. I thought they might want their Oscars back and the pawn shop has been out of business for a while.
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I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
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All the crap they tell you about... getting joy and having a kind of wisdom in your golden years - it's all tripe.
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I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.
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By now they had mastered my own language, but they still made simple mistakes, like using 'hermeneutics,' when they meant 'heuristic'.
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I'm a nice person! I have healthy life drives and goals! I don't drink, I don't smoke. I would never force myself sexually on a blind person!
Woody Allen
I have a limitless amount of great music at my disposal and it's very, very pleasurable because when the music goes on the film it's amazing how much it livens up the film and gives it an emotional kick in the pants, sort of.
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See, I never gain an ounce, because, you know, my anxiety acts like aerobics.
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Is it better to be the lover or the loved one? Neither, if your cholesterol is over six hundred. By love, of course, I refer to romantic love -- the love between man and woman, rather than between mother and child, or a boy and his dog, or two headwaiters.
Woody Allen
Confidence is what you have before you understand the problem.
Woody Allen
