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There are three things Jewish people worship-God, Chinese food and wall-to-wall carpeting.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Food
Three
Things
People
Jewish
Chinese
Worship
Wall

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One of the interesting things is, the most gifted people, the biggest people, have no problem taking small roles.
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When you work from city to city or country to country, you work the same way the working method is the same.
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You'll live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to.
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They were doing the Dying Swan at the ballet. And there was a rumor that some bookmarkers had drifted into town from upstate New York and that they had fixed the bullet. There was a lot of money bet on the swan to live.
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I've gained no wisdom, no insight, no mellowing. I would make all the same mistakes again, today.
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Why not? Life is short, life is dull, life is full of pain - and this is a chance for something special.
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I think universal harmony is a pipedream and it may be more productive to focus on more modest goals, like a ban on yodeling.
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Reality may not be the best of all possible worlds, but it's still the only place where you can get a decent steak.
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Have you ever noticed that good people sleep better, but bad people seem to have more fun when they're awake?
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I know of only six genuine comic geniuses in movie history Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, Groucho Marx & Harpo Marx, Peter Sellers, and W.C. Fields.
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To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer. Not to love is to suffer.
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I don't like to meet the actor and have a lot of conferences and talk about their sub-life and their off-screen life and their back stories and all that nonsense, because it never means anything.
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[Stanley] Kubrick was a great artist and a perfectionist. He always wanted the exact right thing. He did a million takes. Everything had to be perfect. I'm an imperfectionist. I don't really care that much about the work. I write quickly. I'm careless. I shoot carelessly.
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My analyst warned me, but you were so beautiful I got another analyst.
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I don't like to reminisce much, and my walls don't have photographs of me and the actors I was with, or any of that stuff... I try and keep that disciplined, and just work. There are so many traps you can get into, and looking back on your own work is certainly one of them.
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Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
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For some reason I've always had an irrational love for New York. There's no reason that you would necessarily like it on paper. It's very expensive.
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I wish I was writing something much more heavy each time I did a film, and that the comedies just occasionally come out. But unfortunately you're stuck with what you're born with.
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