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There are three things Jewish people worship-God, Chinese food and wall-to-wall carpeting.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Things
People
Jewish
Chinese
Worship
Wall
Food
Three

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I wonder if Socrates and Plato took a house on Crete during the summer.
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If I can play a scene in a master shot, I always prefer it. And the actors always prefer it. It's fun to look at on the screen, the actors get a chance to sink their teeth into something substantial, and it's economically helpful.
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My films are therapy for my debilitating depression. In institutions people weave baskets. I make films.
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I consider myself a completely lucky filmmaker. I've had nothing but good luck. Everything I've needed has come my way.
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I loathed every day and regret every day I spent in school. I like to be taught to read and write and add and then be left alone.
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Is world peace possible or is the human race too innately aggressive? For instance: Have you ever seen women at a sample sale?
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At the trial Stubbs chose to act as his own lawyer, but a conflict over his fee led to ill feelings.
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I think Hollywood has gone in a disastrous path. It's terrible. The years of cinema that were great were the '30s, '40s, not so much the '50s...but then the foreign films took over and it was a great age of cinema as American directors were influenced by them and that fueled the '50s and '60s and '70s.
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But it was I - yes I - who discovered the link between excessive masturbation and entry into politics!
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You make films whether they're dramas or comedies about neurotic people. Flawed people. Interesting personality traits. To make them about calm, stable untroubled people isn't interesting.
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The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have.
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I am told the settlement of $5 million I am being paid is the largest amount ever paid under the New York right to privacy law
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I don't think my film style has changed. I'm doing the same kind of jokes I did when I was younger.
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If you're born with a gift, to behave like it's an achievement is not right.
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I cannot say for certain that God does not exist I think the worst thing that can be said about him is that he's a bit of an underachiever.
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Visually I've always liked the 20s 30s for film. I do these because I like the music. I like the clothes. I like the way the women and the guys look. There are soldiers and sailors and gangsters with the machine guns in their violin cases. It's a very colorful era of New York, full of great theater and great nightclubs and great jazz.
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Your self-esteem is a notch below Kafka.
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Abysmal vermin that I am, I couldn't of course tell her that it was her incredible mother that I wanted to see again… I knew only as I drove through the cold, night autumn air that somewhere Freud, Sophocles and Eugene O’Neill were laughing.
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There have been times when I've thought about it - but with my luck it would probably turn out to be only a temporary solution.
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For some reason I'm more appreciated in France than I am back home. The subtitles must be incredibly good.
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