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That (sex) was the most fun I ever had without laughing.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Sex
Laughing
Fun
Ever
Without
More quotes by Woody Allen
We knew the front door was always left open, but we broke in just to keep in practice. Doxy turned all the Washburn family photos to the wall so there wouldn't be any witnesses.
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Love is too weak a word for what I feel - I luuurve you, you know, I loave you, I luff you, two F's, yes.
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I'm at the stage of life when if a girl says no to me I'm profoundly grateful to her.
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You know, it's one thing about intellectuals, they prove that you can be absolutely brilliant and have no idea what's going on.
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The true test of maturity is not how old a person is but how he reacts to awakening in the mid-town area in his shorts.
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See, I will always have this penchant for what I call kamikaze women. I call them kamikazes because they, you know they crash their plane, they're self-destructive. But they crash into you, and you die along with them.
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I don't own a computer. I've never seen anything online at all - nothing. I don't own a word processor. I have none of that stuff. It's not an act of rebellion. I'm just not a gadget person.
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I never start editing a film until it's completely shot I don't edit along the way, ever. When it's finished I come in here [screening room] and we start with reel one, scene one and start editing shot by shot by shot until we're finished.
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Early in life, I was visited by the bluebird of anxiety
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In my next life I want to live backwards. Start out dead and finish off as an orgasm.
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Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
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Life is like a concentration camp... you can't leave without dying.
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I prefer to achieve immortality by not dying.
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I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
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Let's say there was no terrorism whatsoever and we were all very nice to one another and we were all kind, we still would be faced with an extremely cruel and hostile universe and existence and so I'm a great pessimist and I feel that it's impossible really to be happy, and that the best you can hope for is to be distracted.
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I'm really impotent against the overwhelming bleakness of the universe and the only thing I can do is my little gift [filmmaking] and do it the best I can, [...] which is cold comfort.
Woody Allen
The French make two mistakes about me. They think I'm an intellectual because I wear these glasses and they think I'm an artist because my films lose money.
Woody Allen
A tree never hits an automobile except in self defense.
Woody Allen
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
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Man was made in God`s image. Do you really think God has red hair and glasses?
Woody Allen
