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That (sex) was the most fun I ever had without laughing.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Sex
Laughing
Fun
Ever
Without

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Sygmnd was a poor Austrian who'd lost all the vowels in his name in a boating accident.
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I like broad comedy. If I had an idea tomorrow for a film that was all slapstick and broad comedy, and it was an idea that interested me, I would not hesitate to do it because I enjoy watching these kinds of film.
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I'm a teleological, existential agnostic.
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You know what my philosophy of life is? That it’s important to have some laughs, but you got to suffer a little too, because otherwise you miss the whole point to life.
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His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
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Change is almost always negative. Things degenerate.
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Abysmal vermin that I am, I couldn't of course tell her that it was her incredible mother that I wanted to see again… I knew only as I drove through the cold, night autumn air that somewhere Freud, Sophocles and Eugene O’Neill were laughing.
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By now they had mastered my own language, but they still made simple mistakes, like using 'hermeneutics,' when they meant 'heuristic'.
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he's a genius, she's a genius, wow, you know alot of geniuses, you should meet some stupid people sometime, you might learn something
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I am told the settlement of $5 million I am being paid is the largest amount ever paid under the New York right to privacy law
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There is dignity in suffering nobility in pain but failure is a salted wound, that burns and burns again!
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My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
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You are much more dependent on luck than you think. People say if you want to have a good relationship, you have to work at it. But you never hear it about anything you really like, about sailing or going to soccer games.
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You make films whether they're dramas or comedies about neurotic people. Flawed people. Interesting personality traits. To make them about calm, stable untroubled people isn't interesting.
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Why not? Life is short, life is dull, life is full of pain - and this is a chance for something special.
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I don't believe in competition for artistic things. I just like the atmosphere of the Cannes festival. I don't want to win anything or lose anything.
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What' s the matter with me? Why can't I be cool?
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Everything is controlled by a small evil group to which, unfortunately, no one we know belongs.
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I'm not a drinker, my body won't tolerate...eh...spirits, really. I had two martinis New Years Eve and I tried to hi-jack an elevator and fly it to Cuba.
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The process of making films is so technically demanding that it's a distraction. You don't spend your time thinking about the philosophical content, which is often very depressing.
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