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My wife is immature. Whenever I take a bath, she sinks my boats.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Boat
Whenever
Wife
Take
Sinks
Boats
Bath
Immature
Baths
More quotes by Woody Allen
Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriously.
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Maybe the poets are right. Maybe love is the only answer.
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I never start editing a film until it's completely shot I don't edit along the way, ever. When it's finished I come in here [screening room] and we start with reel one, scene one and start editing shot by shot by shot until we're finished.
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I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife
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There is always the possibility that people will change. Real change is more rare. You are who you are at a certain age in life you are pretty much a variation of that your whole life. It's conceivable that you will change but it's not likely.
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Everything is controlled by a small evil group to which, unfortunately, no one we know belongs.
Woody Allen
Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable with the possible exception of a moose singing 'Embraceable You' in spats.
Woody Allen
In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.
Woody Allen
Show business is dog eat dog. It's worse than dog eat dog. It's dog doesn't return dog's phone calls.
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I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
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When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.
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I don't like theatrical actors and actresses. I like people that talk like real human beings.
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Curiosity, that's what kills us. Not muggers or all that bullshit about the ozone layer. It's our own hearts and minds.
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I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
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I never knew what Amazon was. I've never seen any of those series, even on cable. I've never seen The Sopranos, or Mad Men. I'm out every night and when I come home, I watch the end of the baseball or basketball game, and there's Charlie Rose and I go to sleep.
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Problems are like toilet paper. You pull on one and ten more come.
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In real life, Keaton believes in God. But she also believes that the radio works because there are tiny people inside it.
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I idolized Superman when I was younger. I thought he and I had a lot in common. He was always going into phonebooths and taking off all his clothes.
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We knew the front door was always left open, but we broke in just to keep in practice. Doxy turned all the Washburn family photos to the wall so there wouldn't be any witnesses.
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I can't minimize the terror factor. As you get older you get more and more frightened because the terrible indignities of old age become closer to you.
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