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My ex-wife was a philosophy major at NYU. Yeah, she and I used to have deep philosophical discussions where she would prove that I didn't exist.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Philosophy
Discussion
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Philosophical
Majors
Didn
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Discussions
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More quotes by Woody Allen

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The process of making films is so technically demanding that it's a distraction. You don't spend your time thinking about the philosophical content, which is often very depressing.
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But it was I - yes I - who discovered the link between excessive masturbation and entry into politics!
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See, I will always have this penchant for what I call kamikaze women. I call them kamikazes because they, you know they crash their plane, they're self-destructive. But they crash into you, and you die along with them.
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Honey, you're the one who stopped sleeping with me, OK? It'll be a year come April 20th. I remember the date exactly, because it was Hitler's birthday
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It has become harder and harder in the United States to make films unhampered by outside influences. I've always been able to steer clear of that and keep the business people out of my hair completely.
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I don't believe in competition for artistic things. I just like the atmosphere of the Cannes festival. I don't want to win anything or lose anything.
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A deranged person is supposed to have the strength of ten men. I have the strength of one small boy... with polio.
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My father owned a small piece of land. He carried it with him wherever he went.
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There have been times when I've thought about it - but with my luck it would probably turn out to be only a temporary solution.
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Is Knowledge knowable? If not, how do we know?
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I have no idea what I am doing but incompetence has never prevented me from plunging in with enthusiasm.
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Those modern analysts, they charge so much! In my day, for five marks Freud himself would treat you. For ten marks he would treat you and press your pants. For fifteen marks Freud would let you treat him - that included a choice of any two vegetables.
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My gift was in comedy. I found out I could make jokes. I could tell jokes. I could write them. So over the years, that's what I've done.
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Hey listen -- I've proved a lot of things. That's how I pay my rent. Theories and little observations. A puckish remark now and then. Occasional maxims. It beats picking olives, but let's not get carried away.
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I've never dated a fictional character before. The closest I ever came was an Italian.
Woody Allen
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Standard mathematics has recently been rendered obsolete by the discovery that for years we have been writing the numeral five backward. This has led to reevaluation of counting as a method of getting from one to ten. Students are taught advanced concepts of Boolean algebra, and formerly unsolvable equations are dealt with by threats of reprisals.
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It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
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I'm afraid of the dark,and suspicious of the light.
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His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
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I have a great admiration for English actors and actresses and have used them at every opportunity over the years, but now I won't have to import them to New York.
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