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In the event of war, I'm a hostage.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
War
Hostage
Event
Events
More quotes by Woody Allen
Boy, the food at this place is really terrible. The other one says, Yeah, I know and such small portions. Well, that's essentially how I feel about life - full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness, and it's all over much too quickly.
Woody Allen
Because it's much more pleasant to be obsessed over how the hero gets out of his predicament than it is over how I get out of mine.
Woody Allen
I prefer the magic to reality, and have since I was 5 years old. Hopefully, I can continue to make films and constantly escape into them.
Woody Allen
When I asked my mother where babies came from, she thought I said rabies. She said you get them from being bitten by a dog. The next week, a woman on my block gave birth to triplets... I thought she'd been bitten by a Great Dane.
Woody Allen
Everything in life turns out to be a distraction from the real thing you want to do. There are a million distractions and when I was a kid I was very disciplined. I knew that the other kids weren't. I was the one able to do the thing, not because I had more talent, maybe less, but because they simply weren't applying themselves.
Woody Allen
Drama, it would be as if you wrote some poetry. You'd run the risk of being embarrassed if people read it, because you're pouring your heart out and you're not mitigating it with any humor or anything.
Woody Allen
A deranged person is supposed to have the strength of ten men. I have the strength of one small boy... with polio.
Woody Allen
Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down.
Woody Allen
Music has always helped my films. In 'The Curse Of The Jade Scorpion,' you can hear 'Sunrise' by Glenn Miller, an idol of my childhood, in the surprise ending. I like mixing comedy with suspense and action.
Woody Allen
I feel about New York as a child whose father is a bank robber. Not perfect, but I still love him.
Woody Allen
I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go down and meet them with baseball bats. (On the KKK)
Woody Allen
But what if everyone in the world behaved like me and came here and shot Brisseau through the ear? What a mess! And of course we'd need valet parking.
Woody Allen
It's just gossip, you know. Gossip is the new pornography.
Woody Allen
God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.
Woody Allen
A stockbroker is someone who invests other people's money until it is all gone.
Woody Allen
When I first started, there were writers that I looked up to that I felt very influenced by and very respectful toward their work and their opinion of my work.
Woody Allen
I'm a terrible musician. While the band members are great, I'm tolerated and affectionately regarded because I do movies, but if I had to make my living as a musician I would starve. I'm like a Sunday tennis player.
Woody Allen
We live in far too permissive a society. Never before has pornography been this rampant. And those films are so badly lit!
Woody Allen
I'm giving [my analyst] one more year--then I'm going to Lourdes.
Woody Allen
[...] I've come to the conclusion that the artist can not justify life or come up with a cogent reason as to why life is meaningful, but the artist can provide you with a cold glass of water on a hot day.
Woody Allen
