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I'm so excited-I think today I'm going to brush all my teeth.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Teeth
Excited
Today
Going
Think
Thinking
Brush
Brushes

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I can't express anger. I grow a tumor instead.
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I feel about New York as a child whose father is a bank robber. Not perfect, but I still love him.
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It figures you've got to hate yourself if you've got any integrity at all.
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My grammy never gave gifts, you know. She was too busy getting raped by Cossacks.
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Ads answered out of desperation in the New York Review of Books proved equally futile as…the 'Bay Area Bisexual' told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
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If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.
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After 60, all of us belong to the weaker sex.
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I'm not a big believer in the sense of Jews having a monopoly on comedy.
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