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I'm so excited-I think today I'm going to brush all my teeth.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Think
Thinking
Brush
Brushes
Teeth
Excited
Today
Going
More quotes by Woody Allen
I work all the time because it's a great distraction and it keeps me from sitting home and obsessing morbidly.
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In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
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Jazz is a big thing with me. It's a very big passion of mine, to play it. I'm an amateur musician and I love everything about it. I was obsessed with jazz when I was 15 years old and I know a lot about it because I've loved it so much.
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I learned a few things on my own since, and modified some of the things he taught me, but everything, unequivocally, that I learned about comedy writing I learned from Danny Simon.
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To you I'm an atheist to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
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Music has always helped my films. In 'The Curse Of The Jade Scorpion,' you can hear 'Sunrise' by Glenn Miller, an idol of my childhood, in the surprise ending. I like mixing comedy with suspense and action.
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When you work from city to city or country to country, you work the same way the working method is the same.
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I once stole a pornographic book that was printed in braille. I used to rub the dirty parts.
Woody Allen
My mind can never know my body, although it has become quite friendly with my legs.
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There is something about big cities that turns me on, and for whatever mysterious reason, places like New York and Paris inspire me. I think it's because cities represent civilization, and as crime-ridden and broken down as some of them are, it's still better than skipping through a meadow.
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How the hell do I know why there were Nazis? I don't know how the can-opener works.
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Everything in life turns out to be a distraction from the real thing you want to do. There are a million distractions and when I was a kid I was very disciplined. I knew that the other kids weren't. I was the one able to do the thing, not because I had more talent, maybe less, but because they simply weren't applying themselves.
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I don't like theatrical actors and actresses. I like people that talk like real human beings.
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I don't wanna live on in my work. I wanna live on in my apartment.
Woody Allen
I feel humor is important for those two reasons: that it is a little bit of refreshment like music, and that women have told me over the years that it is very, very important to them.
Woody Allen
I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving dishes for Chinese restaurants.
Woody Allen
I carry a bullet in my breast pocket. Once, a crazy evangelist threw a bible at me, which would have gone through my heart if it wasn't for the bullet.
Woody Allen
I don't think my film style has changed. I'm doing the same kind of jokes I did when I was younger.
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I was a nervous child, I was a bedwetter. I used to sleep with an electric blanket and I was constantly electrocuting myself.
Woody Allen
I'm twelve years old. I run into a synagogue. I ask the rabbi the meaning of life. He tells me the meaning of life but he tells it to me in Hebrew. I don't understand Hebrew. Then he wants to charge me $600 for Hebrew lessons.
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