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I'm so excited-I think today I'm going to brush all my teeth.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Teeth
Excited
Today
Going
Think
Thinking
Brush
Brushes
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I hope you're getting this down.
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I do occasionally envy the person who is religious naturally, without being brainwashed into it or suckered into it by all the organized hustles.
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The heart wants what it wants. There's no logic to these things. You meet someone and you fall in love and that's that.
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There are two important things in the world, the first is sex. The other isn't all that important.
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I don't want to achieve immortality through my work I want to achieve immortality through not dying. I don't want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen I want to live on in my apartment.
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My parents stayed together for forty years. But that was out of spite.
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God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.
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To me nature is... spiders and bugs, and big fish eating little fish, and plants eating plans, and animals eating... It's like an enormous restaurant, that's the way I see it.
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I am plagued by doubts.
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I don't like to meet the actor and have a lot of conferences and talk about their sub-life and their off-screen life and their back stories and all that nonsense, because it never means anything.
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I write the script nobody sees it, not the people that put the money in the picture. I cast who I want, and make the film. That's why I've always felt the only thing standing between me and greatness, is me. There's no excuse for me not to be great except that I'm not.
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I had a mad impulse to throw you down on the lunar surface and commit interstellar perversion with you.
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I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving dishes for Chinese restaurants.
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If you take a frown and turn it upside down, the person you are holding by the ankles will soon pass out.
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I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.
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Love may be the answer, but even though you're watching for the solution, intercourse raises some rather interesting thoughts.
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I've always liked, someday the lamb will lay by the lion.... but it won't get much sleep.
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I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.
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I prefer to achieve immortality by not dying.
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I idolized Superman when I was younger. I thought he and I had a lot in common. He was always going into phonebooths and taking off all his clothes.
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