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I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go down and meet them with baseball bats. (On the KKK)

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Defend
March
Baseball
Meet
Death
Right
Think
Thinking
Bats

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I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife
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I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.
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My films are therapy for my debilitating depression. In institutions people weave baskets. I make films.
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I feel about New York as a child whose father is a bank robber. Not perfect, but I still love him.
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There are two important things in the world, the first is sex. The other isn't all that important.
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Real software engineers don't debug programs, they verify correctness. This process doesn't necessarily involve execution of anything on a computer, except perhaps a Correctness Verification Aid package. Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
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The whole thrust of science and the medical profession is to try and prevent it from happening, to try to prolong life, to keep you from dying, to keep you from getting older, to rejuvenate you. I mean, that's everybody's wish. The fountain of youth is everybody's sought-after thing.
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In real life, Keaton believes in God. But she also believes that the radio works because there are tiny people inside it.
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Yes, but the difference is that when you're dead and somebody yells, 'Everybody up, it's morning,' it's very hard to find your slippers.
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Maugham then offers the greatest advice anyone could give to a young author: At the end of an interrogation sentence, place a question mark. You'd be surprised how effective it can be.
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Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right.
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The only thing standing between me and greatness is me.
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A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life.
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I loathed every day and regret every day I spent in school. I like to be taught to read and write and add and then be left alone.
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My relationship with death remains the same - I'm strongly against it.
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Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
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There are three rings involved with marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.
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