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The great question of philosophy remains: If life is meaningless, what can be done about alphabet soup?

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Remains
Question
Philosophy
Done
Great
Life
Alphabet
Soup
Meaningless

More quotes by Woody Allen

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God, you Jews are truly exotic. Exotic? She should only know the Greenblatts. Or Mr. and Mrs. Milton Sharpstein, my father's friends. Or for that matter, my cousin Tovah. Exotic? I mean, they're nice, but hardly exotic with their endless bickering over the best way to combat indigestion or how far back to sit from the television set.
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I wouldn't necessarily want to be a big muscular guy. It's nice to be gorgeous whether you're male or female assuming you don't lose whatever else you have.
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What has gotten into you lately? Save a little craziness for menopause!
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The prettiest women are almost always the most boring, and that is why some people feel there is no God.
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Today I saw a red and yellow sunset and thought, how insignificant I am! Of course, I thought that yesterday too, and it rained.
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I am plagued by doubts.
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There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
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If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Warren Beatty's fingertips.
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A stockbroker is someone who invests other people's money until it is all gone.
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I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
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You make a film and always hope you're going make Citizen Kane or The Bicycle Thief. You make the film, and for one reason or another, one clicks and one doesn't, but it's out of your control completely.
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When it comes to sex there are certain things that should always be left unknown, and with my luck, they probably will be.
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Better not think too much. Relying more on the body: it is more trustworthy.
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The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife - a depressing thought, particularly for those who bothered to shave. Also, there is the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it's being held. On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily laying down.
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I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
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My grandfather was a very insignificant man, actually. At his funeral his hearse followed the other cars.
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Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
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Then Job fell to his knees and cried to the Lord, Thine is the kingdom and the power and glory. Thou hast a good job. Don't blow it.
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I heard that Commentary and Dissent had merged and formed Dysenery.
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If 90% of success in life is showing up, the other 10% depends on what you're showing up for.
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