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In life, one is entitled to a side dish of either coleslaw or potato salad, and the choice must be made in terror, with the knowledge that not only is our time on earth limited but most kitchens close at ten.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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Life
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Kitchen
Choices
Limited
Kitchens
Knowledge
Terror
Potato
Earth
Ten
Dish
Choice
Salad
Must
Close
Potatoes
Made
Side
Dishes
Time
More quotes by Woody Allen
I carry a bullet in my breast pocket. Once, a crazy evangelist threw a bible at me, which would have gone through my heart if it wasn't for the bullet.
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Visually I've always liked the 20s 30s for film. I do these because I like the music. I like the clothes. I like the way the women and the guys look. There are soldiers and sailors and gangsters with the machine guns in their violin cases. It's a very colorful era of New York, full of great theater and great nightclubs and great jazz.
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I've had bad luck in my two previous marriages. The first wife left me, and the second did not.
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I've often felt that life is a hard deal and it's unrelentingly tragic and an uphill fight.
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I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot
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I once stole a pornographic book that was printed in braille. I used to rub the dirty parts.
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In certain areas I don't function well and in other areas I function very well. I'm very good professionally. I have good discipline, I'm able to write every day and do films and not go six times over the budget. I mean I'm a coherent person, but I also don't like to go through tunnels when I travel. I'm claustrophobic.
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I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
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Relationships are really what interest me the most. And I think, in the end, they interest most people the most. Even when you read Tolstoy or something, basically they're about man and woman relationships.
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My gift was in comedy. I found out I could make jokes. I could tell jokes. I could write them. So over the years, that's what I've done.
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Talent is luck. The important thing in life is courage.
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Don't you see the rest of the country looks upon New York like we're left-wing, communist, Jewish, homosexual pornographers? I think of us that way sometimes and I live here.
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Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.
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All literature is a footnote to Faust. I have no idea what I mean by that.
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Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.
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Raised by two mothers...wow, most of us barely survive one
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Sex is better than talk. Ask anybody in this bar. Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex.
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My parents were very Old World. They come from Brooklyn, which is the heart of the Old World. Their values in life are God and carpeting.
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Sygmnd was a poor Austrian who'd lost all the vowels in his name in a boating accident.
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I'm not a big believer in the sense of Jews having a monopoly on comedy.
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