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In life, one is entitled to a side dish of either coleslaw or potato salad, and the choice must be made in terror, with the knowledge that not only is our time on earth limited but most kitchens close at ten.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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Kitchen
Choices
Limited
Kitchens
Knowledge
Terror
Potato
Earth
Ten
Dish
Must
Choice
Salad
Made
Close
Potatoes
Time
Side
Dishes
Life
Either
Entitled
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It's just gossip, you know. Gossip is the new pornography.
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In the shower, with the hot water coming down, you've left the real world behind, and very frequently things open up for you. It's the change of venue, the unblocking the attempt to force the ideas that's crippling you when you're trying to write.
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Cynicism is reality with an alternate spelling.
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Your self-esteem is a notch below Kafka.
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I don't know what I'm doing, but my incompetence has never stopped my enthusiasm.
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It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
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You make films whether they're dramas or comedies about neurotic people. Flawed people. Interesting personality traits. To make them about calm, stable untroubled people isn't interesting.
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Those who can't do, teach!
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I learned a few things on my own since, and modified some of the things he taught me, but everything, unequivocally, that I learned about comedy writing I learned from Danny Simon.
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Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
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When I'm writing something, if there's a part that's good for me, then I'll play it. Otherwise, I don't. And I notice that there are less and less parts for me in my own writing.
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I'm trying to arrange my life so I don't have to be present.
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I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
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I think universal harmony is a pipedream and it may be more productive to focus on more modest goals, like a ban on yodeling.
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I'm at the stage of life when if a girl says no to me I'm profoundly grateful to her.
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The Jewish culture - people that are Jewish have a certain cultural habit that they've formed and one of those habits is an appreciation of theater and music - these are cultural things one does associate with values that are promulgated by Jewish families. I think that's a good thing.
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I sold my memoirs of my love life to Parker Brothers and they are going to make a game out of it.
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I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead - not sick, not wounded - dead.
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