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When you are dead, it is hard to find the light switch.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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More quotes by Woody Allen

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Maugham then offers the greatest advice anyone could give to a young author: At the end of an interrogation sentence, place a question mark. You'd be surprised how effective it can be.
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His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
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Curiosity, that's what kills us. Not muggers or all that bullshit about the ozone layer. It's our own hearts and minds.
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When you work from city to city or country to country, you work the same way the working method is the same.
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Because it's much more pleasant to be obsessed over how the hero gets out of his predicament than it is over how I get out of mine.
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I'm afraid of the dark,and suspicious of the light.
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I consider myself a completely lucky filmmaker. I've had nothing but good luck. Everything I've needed has come my way.
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Meanwhile, the minute you put on the dotted line your Sam Hancock - and before a notary - you'll not only get the negative but Elsie makes a wonderful stuffed cabbage which we'll include gratis a few portions but return the jars please.
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The roe is reputed to sleep for a thousand years and then suddenly rise in flames, particularly if it was smoking when it dozed off.
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I can't understand why more people aren't bisexual. It would double your chances for a date on Saturday night.
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My experience creatively is different than my experience in life, for, as my father would say, the simple reason that you can't get hurt when everything goes wrong creatively.
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Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
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Marriage is the death of hope.
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People are always talking about the dumbing down of the country.
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I foresee death by culture shock.
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All the crap they tell you about... getting joy and having a kind of wisdom in your golden years - it's all tripe.
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Since I was a kid, I could make up stories, I could make up funny jokes and I could always do it. When I'm walking down the street or having dinner, ideas will hit me, and I write them down on matchbooks or napkins and throw them in the draw.
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Am I my brother's keeper? Yes. Interestingly, in my case, I share that honor with the Prospect Park Zoo.
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To me nature is... spiders and bugs, and big fish eating little fish, and plants eating plans, and animals eating... It's like an enormous restaurant, that's the way I see it.
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If you aren't failing every now and then, you're probably playing it too safe.
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