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I wouldn't mind dying so much if it wasn't that I would be dead at the end of it.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Much
Mind
Would
Dying
Wouldn
Dead
Wasn
Ends

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Music has always helped my films. In 'The Curse Of The Jade Scorpion,' you can hear 'Sunrise' by Glenn Miller, an idol of my childhood, in the surprise ending. I like mixing comedy with suspense and action.
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Oh, he was probably a member of the National Rifle Association. It was a group that helped criminals get guns so they could shoot citizens. It was a public service.
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I love the rain - it washes memories off the sidewalk of life.
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The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife - a depressing thought, particularly for those who bothered to shave. Also, there is the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it's being held. On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily laying down.
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... years of insanity have made this guy crazy!
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Ninety percent of life is just showing up.
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Standing in a garage no more makes you a car than standing in a church makes you a Christian.
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Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they fall in love with.
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I got a divorce because my ex-wife left me for another woman.
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Subjectivity is objective.
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It is clear the future holds great opportunities. It also holds pitfalls. The trick will be to avoid the pitfalls, seize the opportunities, and get back home by six o'clock.
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I'm afraid of the dark,and suspicious of the light.
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Life is unresolved, confusing, bewildering, puzzling, ambiguous. You don't really know what's going to happen. The future is uncertain for everybody.
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I can't do anything to death, doctor's orders.
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I had an IQ test. The results came back negative.
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I myself don't like to speak to the actors at all. I like to hire great people and let them do their thing. I don't like to speak to them. I don't like to have lunch with them. I don't like to socialize with them. I don't like to hear their ideas.
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A: Socrates is a man. B: All men are mortal. C: All men are Socrates.
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Life is hard for insects. And don't think mice are having any fun either.
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People are always talking about the dumbing down of the country.
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In fact, when they wake up in the morning, they're Jack Nicholson or Robert De Niro or Josh Brolin. And it's built-in, but they think it's all this other stuff. But it's not. They'd be great if they didn't think about their part or if they did think about it.
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