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I wouldn't mind dying so much if it wasn't that I would be dead at the end of it.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Dying
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Dead
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Ends
Much
Mind
Would
More quotes by Woody Allen
If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.
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[An audience conditioned by a lifetime of television-watching is so corrupted that] their standards have been systematically lowered over the years. These guys sit in front of their sets and the gamma rays eat the white cells of their brains out!
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I never have an alter ego in the movies. That's a fiction that the press has made up over the years, and it's fun to write that. It gives them something to write.
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Sygmnd was a poor Austrian who'd lost all the vowels in his name in a boating accident.
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I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
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Some people think about sex all the time some people think of sex some of the time and some people never think about sex: they become lawyers.
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What was the scandal? I fell in love with this girl, married her. We have been married for almost 15 years now.
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My heart says one thing. My head says another. Very hard to get your heart and head together in life.
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They were doing the Dying Swan at the ballet. And there was a rumor that some bookmarkers had drifted into town from upstate New York and that they had fixed the bullet. There was a lot of money bet on the swan to live.
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Life is short. Short, and not about anything except what you can touch and what touches you.
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Doing abominations is against the law, particularly if the abominations are done while wearing a lobster bib.
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Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
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There will be no major solution to the suffering of humanity until we reach some understanding of who we are, what the purpose of creation was, what happens after death. Until those questions are resolved we are caught.
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Sun is bad for you. Everything our parents said was good is bad. Sun, milk, red meat...college.
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I write the script nobody sees it, not the people that put the money in the picture. I cast who I want, and make the film. That's why I've always felt the only thing standing between me and greatness, is me. There's no excuse for me not to be great except that I'm not.
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I prefer the magic to reality, and have since I was 5 years old. Hopefully, I can continue to make films and constantly escape into them.
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Better not think too much. Relying more on the body: it is more trustworthy.
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I always feel, I guess being a product of the movies of the 40s where movies were the greatest things and screens were big and palaces were palaces and stars were larger than life that reality was so much inferior to what we felt was conceivably possible from what we had seen in the movies.
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When it comes to sex there are certain things that should always be left unknown, and with my luck, they probably will be.
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I never thought I was doing anyone a favour by bringing children into the world. With people as cruel to each other as they are, it's a terrible proposition. The best of lives are sad and tragic. The best of them. My general conclusion is that it's not a nice thing to do. The world doesn't need it. The kid doesn't need it.
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