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I'm trying to arrange my life so I don't have to be present.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Arrange
Present
Trying
Life
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The artist's job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence.
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I don't know what I'm doing, but my incompetence has never stopped my enthusiasm.
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I'm generally not a social dramatist or comedy writer. My interests have always been more in psychological stories or personal relations and comic ideas.
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When you are dead, it is hard to find the light switch.
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When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.
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As the author you know how you want it to appear on screen and it's always the content dictating the form.
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Once the movie's over, there's not much point. When the thing is edited, mixed, and color-corrected, and you've finished it... In my case, I never read anything about it, I never think about it.
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My father worked for the same firm for 12 years. They fired him and replaced him with a tiny gadget that does everything my father does, only much better. The depressing thing is my mother ran out and bought one
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When one chooses to be a writer, psychologically there's a reason for that because you like the isolation and you like to be by yourself and you are by nature timid.
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Arlene and I have to get a divorce. She thinks I'm a pervert because I drank our water bed.
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My success has allowed me to strike out with a higher class of women.
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I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
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I was in analysis for years because of a traumatic childhood I was breast-fed through falsies.
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I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
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I don't inhale because it gives you cancer, but I look so incredibly handsome with a cigarette that I can't not hold one.
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I recently turned 60. Practically a third of my life is over.
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Then Job fell to his knees and cried to the Lord, Thine is the kingdom and the power and glory. Thou hast a good job. Don't blow it.
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. . . they confuse everything I do with my life.
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The audience is making the film and not the film-maker.
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