Quote

I carry a bullet in my breast pocket. Once, a crazy evangelist threw a bible at me, which would have gone through my heart if it wasn't for the bullet.

Woody Allen

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Would
Breasts
Pockets
Evangelist
Carry
Evangelists
Bible
Bullet
Wasn
Threw
Crazy
Pocket
Gone
Breast
Heart
Bullets

More quotes by Woody Allen

Image
I don't believe in God. Just try getting a plumber on the weekend.
Woody Allen
Image
It's easier to direct. If you direct something poorly and re-shoot it the next day, stage it better, make it work better, you have a lot of possibilities. You can edit it in certain ways so that it works, but there's no getting around weaknesses of the script.
Woody Allen
Image
Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and potatoes, comedy is rather the dessert, a bit like meringue.
Woody Allen
Image
Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.
Woody Allen
Image
In fact, when they wake up in the morning, they're Jack Nicholson or Robert De Niro or Josh Brolin. And it's built-in, but they think it's all this other stuff. But it's not. They'd be great if they didn't think about their part or if they did think about it.
Woody Allen
Image
I never wanted to or expected to make a film outside of New York. New York became very, very expensive. The same $18 million spent in Barcelona or Rome goes much further there.
Woody Allen
Image
The best an idea gets is when its in your head.
Woody Allen
Image
Years ago I was on television having a discussion with Billy Graham about atheism. He was saying, even if you're right and I'm wrong, and there's nothing after, I will have had a better life than you, because I do believe there was something. And I couldn't argue with that, even though I wanted to.
Woody Allen
Image
I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving dishes for Chinese restaurants.
Woody Allen
Image
Nothing worth knowing can be understood with the mind.
Woody Allen
Image
Never shoot up in the air when you're standing under it.
Woody Allen
Image
The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.
Woody Allen
Image
I think if you have a comic perspective, almost anything that happens you tend to put through a comic filter. It's a way of coping in the short term, but has no long term effect and requires constant, endless renewal. Hence people talk of comics who are always on. It's like constantly drugging your sensibility so you can get by with less pain.
Woody Allen
Image
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
Woody Allen
Image
Better not think too much. Relying more on the body: it is more trustworthy.
Woody Allen
Image
I came home one night, some month ago, and I went to the closet in my bedroom...and a moth ate my sports jacket. He was laying on the floor, nauseous, y'know.
Woody Allen
Image
Regarding love what can you say? It's not the quantity of your sexual relations that counts. It's the quality. On the other hand if the quantity drops below once every eight months, I would definitely look into it.
Woody Allen
Image
Taste my tuna casserole - tell me if I put in too much hot fudge.
Woody Allen
Image
Notes for a ballet, The Spell: ... Suddenly Sigmund hears the flutter of wings, and a group of wild swans flies across the moon ... Sigmund is astounded to see that their leader is part swan and part woman - unfortunately, divided lengthwise. She enchants Sigmund, who is careful not to make any poultry jokes.
Woody Allen
Image
If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.
Woody Allen