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I carry a bullet in my breast pocket. Once, a crazy evangelist threw a bible at me, which would have gone through my heart if it wasn't for the bullet.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Wasn
Threw
Crazy
Pocket
Breast
Gone
Bullets
Heart
Breasts
Would
Pockets
Evangelist
Carry
Evangelists
Bible
Bullet

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I don't want to live forever through my work. I want to live forever by not dying.
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Should I marry W? Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name. And what about her career? How can I ask a woman of her beauty to give up the Roller Derby? Decisions...
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All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.
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I believe in sex and death- two experiences that come once in a lifetime.
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Showing up is 80 percent of life.
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Basically I am a low-culture person. I prefer watching baseball with a beer and some meatballs.
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No matter what the shrinks, or the pundits, or the self-help books tell you, when it comes to love, it's luck.
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My heart says one thing. My head says another. Very hard to get your heart and head together in life.
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It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blowing off.
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I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
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... years of insanity have made this guy crazy!
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In a relationship, it is better to be the leaver than the leavee.
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I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
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Magic has always been of a great interest of mine. I was an amateur magician when I was young. I used to practice and read up on it a lot. I'm well-aware of the history of magic.
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What has gotten into you lately? Save a little craziness for menopause!
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I'm very old-fashioned. I believe that people should stay married for life, like pigeons and Catholics.
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