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I carry a bullet in my breast pocket. Once, a crazy evangelist threw a bible at me, which would have gone through my heart if it wasn't for the bullet.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Bible
Bullet
Wasn
Threw
Crazy
Pocket
Gone
Breast
Heart
Bullets
Would
Breasts
Pockets
Evangelist
Carry
Evangelists

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To me, movies are valuable as an art form and as a wonderful means of popular entertainment. But I think movies have gone terribly wrong.
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Marriage? That's for life! It's like cement!
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Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful provided you get between the right man and the right woman.
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Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to the crime.
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It's a wonderful thing to be able to create your own world whenever you want to.
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Life is a concentration camp. You're stuck here and there's no way out and you can only rage impotently against your persecutors.
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When a doctor makes a mistake, it's best to bury the subject.
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Well, if I don't get at least 16 hours, I'm a basket case.
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Let's say there was no terrorism whatsoever and we were all very nice to one another and we were all kind, we still would be faced with an extremely cruel and hostile universe and existence and so I'm a great pessimist and I feel that it's impossible really to be happy, and that the best you can hope for is to be distracted.
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The great question of philosophy remains: If life is meaningless, what can be done about alphabet soup?
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There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
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If you are not failing now and again, its a sign you are not doing anything very innovative
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I don't believe in competition for artistic things. I just like the atmosphere of the Cannes festival. I don't want to win anything or lose anything.
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Our love, our love will last forever. It's forever but it just doesn't work. That's why it will always be romantic because it can not be complete.
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There is no question that there is an unseen world. The problem is, how far is it from midtown and how late is it open?
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I call that mind free which jealously guards its intellectual rights and powers, which calls no man master, which does not content itself with a passive or hereditary faith, [and] receives new truth as an angel from Heaven.
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Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
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I never thought I was doing anyone a favour by bringing children into the world. With people as cruel to each other as they are, it's a terrible proposition. The best of lives are sad and tragic. The best of them. My general conclusion is that it's not a nice thing to do. The world doesn't need it. The kid doesn't need it.
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When I am in New York, I want to be in Europe, and when I am in Europe, I want to be in New York.
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