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I have no regard for that kind of ceremony. I just don't think they know what they're doing. When you see who wins those things-or who doesn't win them-you can see how meaningless this Oscar thing is.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Winning
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Meaningless
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I know of only six genuine comic geniuses in movie history Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, Groucho Marx & Harpo Marx, Peter Sellers, and W.C. Fields.
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I think Frank Capra was a much craftier filmmaker, a wonderful filmmaker. He had enormous technique, and he knew how to manipulate the public quite brilliantly.
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The great question of philosophy remains: If life is meaningless, what can be done about alphabet soup?
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You are much more dependent on luck than you think. People say if you want to have a good relationship, you have to work at it. But you never hear it about anything you really like, about sailing or going to soccer games.
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The only thing standing between me and greatness is me.
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There's no correlation between what the public likes and what I'm after. I'm in a different world.
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I said this to my daughter, if you don't practice the guitar, when you get older you wouldn't be able to play it. It's that simple. If you want to play the guitar, you put a half hour in everyday, but you have to do it.
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I myself don't like to speak to the actors at all. I like to hire great people and let them do their thing. I don't like to speak to them. I don't like to have lunch with them. I don't like to socialize with them. I don't like to hear their ideas.
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Life is horrible, but it is not relentlessly black from wire to wire. You can sit down and hear a Mozart symphony, or you can watch the Marx Brothers, and this will give you a pleasant escape for a while. And that is about the best that you can do.
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There are worse things than death. Many of them playing at a theater near you.
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Maugham then offers the greatest advice anyone could give to a young author: At the end of an interrogation sentence, place a question mark. You'd be surprised how effective it can be.
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When I'm not working, I think and I think when I get depressed.
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What is it about death that bothers me? Probably the hours.
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Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
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We live in far too permissive a society. Never before has pornography been this rampant. And those films are so badly lit!
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When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
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I foresee death by culture shock.
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Basically I am a low-culture person. I prefer watching baseball with a beer and some meatballs.
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Arlene and I have to get a divorce. She thinks I'm a pervert because I drank our water bed.
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