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90% of success in life is showing up
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Life
Showing
Success
More quotes by Woody Allen
I was a nervous child, I was a bedwetter. I used to sleep with an electric blanket and I was constantly electrocuting myself.
Woody Allen
I'm so excited-I think today I'm going to brush all my teeth.
Woody Allen
The prettiest women are almost always the most boring, and that is why some people feel there is no God.
Woody Allen
Dear Mom and Dad, Leave $50,000 in a bag under the bridge on Decatur Street. If there is no bridge on Decatur Street, please build one.
Woody Allen
I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.
Woody Allen
My ex-wife was a philosophy major at NYU. Yeah, she and I used to have deep philosophical discussions where she would prove that I didn't exist.
Woody Allen
The roe is reputed to sleep for a thousand years and then suddenly rise in flames, particularly if it was smoking when it dozed off.
Woody Allen
I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot
Woody Allen
Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.
Woody Allen
Don't worry, I know almost exactly what I'm doing.
Woody Allen
I think that the tendency for most people is to fall back on a comic interpretation of things because things are so sad, so terrible. If you didn't laugh you'd kill yourself. But the truth of the matter is that existence in general is very very tragic, very very sad, very brutal and very unhappy.
Woody Allen
I've often felt that life is a hard deal and it's unrelentingly tragic and an uphill fight.
Woody Allen
Whosoever loveth wisdom is righteous, but he that keepeth company with fowl is weird.
Woody Allen
My relationship with American audiences is the exact same as it always has been. They never came to see my films, and they don't come now.
Woody Allen
It's very hard to keep your spirits up. You've got to keep selling yourself a bill of goods, and some people are better at lying to themselves than others. If you face reality too much, it kills you.... you've got to find an answer to the question: Why go on?
Woody Allen
A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life.
Woody Allen
I see no advantages in aging whatsoever. You become shriveled. You become decrepit. You lose your faculties. Your peer group passes away. You sit in a room gumming your porridge. I don't see any advantage in this whatsoever.
Woody Allen
Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful provided you get between the right man and the right woman.
Woody Allen
I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
Woody Allen
I've had a very productive life. I've worked very hard, I've never fallen prey to depression. I'm not sure I could have done all of that without being in psychoanalysis.
Woody Allen
