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My grandfather was a very insignificant man, actually. At his funeral his hearse followed the other cars.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Followed
Cars
Car
Actually
Men
Hearse
Insignificant
Funeral
Grandfather
More quotes by Woody Allen
Why not? Life is short, life is dull, life is full of pain - and this is a chance for something special.
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If you can delude yourself by believing that there is some kind of Santa Claus out there who is going to bail you out in the end, then it will help you get through. Even if you are proven wrong in the end, you would have had a better life than a non-believer.
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I've always had an easy time directing actors because I always hire ones that are great before I get my hands on them.
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My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
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Since I was a kid, I could make up stories, I could make up funny jokes and I could always do it. When I'm walking down the street or having dinner, ideas will hit me, and I write them down on matchbooks or napkins and throw them in the draw.
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Culturally speaking, I was raised in a Jewish household. In addition to the religious side of it, I was taught respect for books and learning and the higher professions like medicine and law and teaching.
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I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me.
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People say that death is a part of life and there must be something to it, but I just see it as bad news and I want everybody to stop sugarcoating it.
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I prefer to achieve immortality by not dying.
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Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!
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To you I'm an atheist to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
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In perpetrating a revolution, there are two requirements: someone or something to revolt against and someone to actually show up and do the revolting. Dress is usually casual and both parties may be flexible about time and place, but if either faction fails to attend, the whole enterprise is likely to come off badly.
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Your self-esteem is a notch below Kafka.
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Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
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When I was born my mother was terribly disappointed. Not that she wanted a girl - she wanted a divorce.
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Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
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I'm generally not a social dramatist or comedy writer. My interests have always been more in psychological stories or personal relations and comic ideas.
Woody Allen
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
Woody Allen
Until you've been kissed on a rainy Parisian afternoon - you've never been kissed.
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The Jewish culture - people that are Jewish have a certain cultural habit that they've formed and one of those habits is an appreciation of theater and music - these are cultural things one does associate with values that are promulgated by Jewish families. I think that's a good thing.
Woody Allen
