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My grandfather was a very insignificant man, actually. At his funeral his hearse followed the other cars.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
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The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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Actually
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Insignificant
Funeral
Grandfather
Followed
Cars
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I am an only child. I have one sister.
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Geez, I should stop ruining my life searching for answers I'm never gonna get, and just enjoy it while it lasts.
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I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
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You are much more dependent on luck than you think. People say if you want to have a good relationship, you have to work at it. But you never hear it about anything you really like, about sailing or going to soccer games.
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Once the movie's over, there's not much point. When the thing is edited, mixed, and color-corrected, and you've finished it... In my case, I never read anything about it, I never think about it.
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The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind -- a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you've just made a down payment on a house.
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He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.
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Many people who get a lot of money are willing to work with me for no money. This is true.
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I do feel it's important to have some kind of faith in something, but [it is] impossible for many of us. I personally don't have any faith in anything, but it's great if you can.
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I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
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I cannot say for certain that God does not exist I think the worst thing that can be said about him is that he's a bit of an underachiever.
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I had an IQ test. The results came back negative.
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The history of the world is like: He kills me, I kill him, only with different cosmetics and different castings. So in 2001, some fanatics killed some Americans, and now some Americans are killing some Iraqis. And in my childhood, some Nazis killed Jews. And now, some Jewish people and some Palestinians are killing each other.
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Some people think about sex all the time some people think of sex some of the time and some people never think about sex: they become lawyers.
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Me and nature are two.
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The meaning of life is that nobody knows the meaning of life.
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You use sex to express every emotion except love.
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While we're waiting for a cab I'll give you your lesson for today. Don't listen to what your teachers tell ya, you know. Don't pay attention. Just, just see what they look like and that's how you'll know what life is really gonna be like.
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The audience is making the film and not the film-maker.
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