Quote

It's hard for me to know. I'll think, 'I really brought off my ideas, it's great,' and no one sparks to it

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Great
Really
Think
Thinking
Sparks
Brought
Ideas
Hard

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I like writing. It keeps my mind off grim subjects. It's therapeutic in the same way a patient in an institution is given fingerpaints.
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Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
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The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year.
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Someday the lion is going to lie down with the lamb, but the lamb isn't going to get much sleep.
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I'm so excited-I think today I'm going to brush all my teeth.
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If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.
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I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
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Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
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In my next life I want to live backwards. Start out dead and finish off as an orgasm.
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What' s the matter with me? Why can't I be cool?
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Standard mathematics has recently been rendered obsolete by the discovery that for years we have been writing the numeral five backward. This has led to reevaluation of counting as a method of getting from one to ten. Students are taught advanced concepts of Boolean algebra, and formerly unsolvable equations are dealt with by threats of reprisals.
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If you are not failing now and again, its a sign you are not doing anything very innovative
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But what if everyone in the world behaved like me and came here and shot Brisseau through the ear? What a mess! And of course we'd need valet parking.
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I was the captain of the latent paranoid softball team. We used to play all the neurotics on sunday morning. Nailbiters against the bedwetters, and if you've never seen neurotics play softball, it's really funny. I used to steal second base, and feel guilty and go back.
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See, I will always have this penchant for what I call kamikaze women. I call them kamikazes because they, you know they crash their plane, they're self-destructive. But they crash into you, and you die along with them.
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You're a genius! And the proof is that both common people and intellectuals find your work completely incoherent.
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I never knew what Amazon was. I've never seen any of those series, even on cable. I've never seen The Sopranos, or Mad Men. I'm out every night and when I come home, I watch the end of the baseball or basketball game, and there's Charlie Rose and I go to sleep.
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I never have an alter ego in the movies. That's a fiction that the press has made up over the years, and it's fun to write that. It gives them something to write.
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There's no way to prove that there is no God. You just have to take it on faith.
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No Matter what you do there will be critics.
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