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It's hard for me to know. I'll think, 'I really brought off my ideas, it's great,' and no one sparks to it
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Great
Really
Think
Thinking
Sparks
Brought
Ideas
Hard
More quotes by Woody Allen
When I was young, I wanted to be a dramatic writer, a writer of tragedy. Nothing would've pleased me more than if I could have written like Eugene O'Neil or Tennessee Williams.
Woody Allen
Notes for a ballet, The Spell: ... Suddenly Sigmund hears the flutter of wings, and a group of wild swans flies across the moon ... Sigmund is astounded to see that their leader is part swan and part woman - unfortunately, divided lengthwise. She enchants Sigmund, who is careful not to make any poultry jokes.
Woody Allen
I don't inhale because it gives you cancer, but I look so incredibly handsome with a cigarette that I can't not hold one.
Woody Allen
This stuff tastes awful I could have made a fortune selling it in my health-food store.
Woody Allen
Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
Woody Allen
Fantasy is seductive and much more wonderful than reality, but you can't take it to the bank. It's always an escape. And if used as an escape, as in attending a movie or a show for a circumscribed period of time, it's fine. When it starts to become undifferentiated from reality, it leads to big trouble.
Woody Allen
What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?
Woody Allen
[An audience conditioned by a lifetime of television-watching is so corrupted that] their standards have been systematically lowered over the years. These guys sit in front of their sets and the gamma rays eat the white cells of their brains out!
Woody Allen
It's all through the actors I cannot write in that idiom
Woody Allen
Do I believe in God? I did until Mother's accident. She fell on some meat loaf and it penetrated her spleen.
Woody Allen
I learned a few things on my own since, and modified some of the things he taught me, but everything, unequivocally, that I learned about comedy writing I learned from Danny Simon.
Woody Allen
Curiosity, that's what kills us. Not muggers or all that bullshit about the ozone layer. It's our own hearts and minds.
Woody Allen
Once the movie's over, there's not much point. When the thing is edited, mixed, and color-corrected, and you've finished it... In my case, I never read anything about it, I never think about it.
Woody Allen
Let's say there was no terrorism whatsoever and we were all very nice to one another and we were all kind, we still would be faced with an extremely cruel and hostile universe and existence and so I'm a great pessimist and I feel that it's impossible really to be happy, and that the best you can hope for is to be distracted.
Woody Allen
Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
Woody Allen
By now they had mastered my own language, but they still made simple mistakes, like using 'hermeneutics,' when they meant 'heuristic'.
Woody Allen
I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.
Woody Allen
In certain areas I don't function well and in other areas I function very well. I'm very good professionally. I have good discipline, I'm able to write every day and do films and not go six times over the budget. I mean I'm a coherent person, but I also don't like to go through tunnels when I travel. I'm claustrophobic.
Woody Allen
The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5' 7, it is impossible to get your congressman on the phone.
Woody Allen
If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.
Woody Allen
