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But what if everyone in the world behaved like me and came here and shot Brisseau through the ear? What a mess! And of course we'd need valet parking.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
World
Ears
Courses
Course
Valet
Came
Behaved
Everyone
Parking
Need
Mess
Needs
Shot
Like
Shots

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[The universe is] haphazard, morally neutral, and unimaginably violent.
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I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak.
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Then Job fell to his knees and cried to the Lord, Thine is the kingdom and the power and glory. Thou hast a good job. Don't blow it.
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Eighty percent of success is showing up.
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Some drink deeply from the river of knowledge. Others only gargle.
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Sex and death. Two things that come but once in my lifetime, but at least after death you're not nauseous.
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I feel about New York as a child whose father is a bank robber. Not perfect, but I still love him.
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My films are a form of psychoanalysis, except that it is I who am paid, which changes everything.
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Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.
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I wish I was writing something much more heavy each time I did a film, and that the comedies just occasionally come out. But unfortunately you're stuck with what you're born with.
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