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I don't wanna live on in my work. I wanna live on in my apartment.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Apartment
Wanna
Live
Work

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I am an only child. I have one sister.
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Those who can't do, teach. And those who can't teach, teach gym.
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The prettiest women are almost always the most boring, and that is why some people feel there is no God.
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There is something about big cities that turns me on, and for whatever mysterious reason, places like New York and Paris inspire me. I think it's because cities represent civilization, and as crime-ridden and broken down as some of them are, it's still better than skipping through a meadow.
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Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
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Me sitting down for dinner with Ingmar Bergman felt like a house painter sitting down with Picasso.
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. . . they confuse everything I do with my life.
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Life's hard, then you die.
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Those modern analysts, they charge so much! In my day, for five marks Freud himself would treat you. For ten marks he would treat you and press your pants. For fifteen marks Freud would let you treat him - that included a choice of any two vegetables.
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The roe is reputed to sleep for a thousand years and then suddenly rise in flames, particularly if it was smoking when it dozed off.
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Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful provided you get between the right man and the right woman.
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The whole thrust of science and the medical profession is to try and prevent it from happening, to try to prolong life, to keep you from dying, to keep you from getting older, to rejuvenate you. I mean, that's everybody's wish. The fountain of youth is everybody's sought-after thing.
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As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
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The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.
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I write the script nobody sees it, not the people that put the money in the picture. I cast who I want, and make the film. That's why I've always felt the only thing standing between me and greatness, is me. There's no excuse for me not to be great except that I'm not.
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Relationships are really what interest me the most. And I think, in the end, they interest most people the most. Even when you read Tolstoy or something, basically they're about man and woman relationships.
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We Are The Sum Total Of Our Choices.
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Believing would be easier if God would show himself by depositing a million dollars in a Swiss bank account in my name
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Dear Mom and Dad, Leave $50,000 in a bag under the bridge on Decatur Street. If there is no bridge on Decatur Street, please build one.
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Confidence is what you have before you understand the problem.
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