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Rather than live on in the hearts and minds of my fellow man, I would rather live on in my apartment.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Rather
Live
Heart
Mind
Apartment
Would
Fellow
Men
Fellows
Hearts
Minds
More quotes by Woody Allen
Every hooker I ever speak to tells me that it beats the hell out of waitressing.
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There's nothing like the discovery of an unknown work by a great thinker to set the intellectual community atwitter and cause academics to dart about like those things one sees when looking at a drop of water under a microscope.
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I've had bad luck in my two previous marriages. The first wife left me, and the second did not.
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It's a match made in heaven...by a retarded angel.
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I call that mind free which jealously guards its intellectual rights and powers, which calls no man master, which does not content itself with a passive or hereditary faith, [and] receives new truth as an angel from Heaven.
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The chief problem about death ... is the fear that there may be no afterlife - a depressing thought.
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I had an IQ test. The results came back negative.
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I don't want to live forever through my work. I want to live forever by not dying.
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When a doctor makes a mistake, it's best to bury the subject.
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Magic has always been of a great interest of mine. I was an amateur magician when I was young. I used to practice and read up on it a lot. I'm well-aware of the history of magic.
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The most important words in the English language are not 'I love you' but 'it's benign.'
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In my next life I want to live backwards. Start out dead and finish off as an orgasm.
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People are always talking about the dumbing down of the country.
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If man were immortal, do you realize what his meat bills would be?
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I don't respond well to mellow, you know what I mean, I have a tendency to... if I get too mellow, I ripen and then rot.
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Even if God exists, he's done such a terrible job, it's a wonder people don't get together and file a class action suit against him.
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I had a mad impulse to throw you down on the lunar surface and commit interstellar perversion with you.
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As I got more confident, I was able to let actors improvise, and do long takes. It's 10%, 5% you learn and experience. The rest you just have or you don't have.
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I'm at the stage of life when if a girl says no to me I'm profoundly grateful to her.
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Nietzsche says that we will live the same life, over and over again. God - I'll have to sit through the Ice Capades again.
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