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Rather than live on in the hearts and minds of my fellow man, I would rather live on in my apartment.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Rather
Live
Heart
Mind
Apartment
Would
Fellow
Men
Fellows
Hearts
Minds
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When you are dead, it is hard to find the light switch.
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How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
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Sentence structure is innate, but whining is acquired.
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Since I was a kid, I could make up stories, I could make up funny jokes and I could always do it. When I'm walking down the street or having dinner, ideas will hit me, and I write them down on matchbooks or napkins and throw them in the draw.
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You know what my philosophy of life is? That it’s important to have some laughs, but you got to suffer a little too, because otherwise you miss the whole point to life.
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90% of success in life is showing up
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Have you ever taken a serious political stand on anything? Yeah. Sure. For twenty-four hours once I refused to eat grapes.
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The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only when it's done right.
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I have a limitless amount of great music at my disposal and it's very, very pleasurable because when the music goes on the film it's amazing how much it livens up the film and gives it an emotional kick in the pants, sort of.
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Please forgive me. My pedicurist had a stroke. She fell forward onto the orange stick and plunged it into my toe. It required bandaging.
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You are much more dependent on luck than you think. People say if you want to have a good relationship, you have to work at it. But you never hear it about anything you really like, about sailing or going to soccer games.
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Life is a concentration camp. You're stuck here and there's no way out and you can only rage impotently against your persecutors.
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It's a wonderful thing to be able to create your own world whenever you want to.
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I can't even make a leap of faith to believe in my own existence.
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My grandfather had a wonderful funeral... On the buffet table there was a replica of the deceased in potato salad.
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I don't own a computer. I've never seen anything online at all - nothing. I don't own a word processor. I have none of that stuff. It's not an act of rebellion. I'm just not a gadget person.
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Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
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Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they fall in love with.
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I hate the beach. I hate the sun. I'm pale and I'm redheaded. I don't tan - I stroke!
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There are three things Jewish people worship-God, Chinese food and wall-to-wall carpeting.
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