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Some people think about sex all the time some people think of sex some of the time and some people never think about sex: they become lawyers.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Become
Never
Time
Think
Thinking
People
Lawyers
Lawyer
Sex
More quotes by Woody Allen
I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.
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Dear Mom and Dad, Leave $50,000 in a bag under the bridge on Decatur Street. If there is no bridge on Decatur Street, please build one.
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Marriage is the death of hope.
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Jazz is a big thing with me. It's a very big passion of mine, to play it. I'm an amateur musician and I love everything about it. I was obsessed with jazz when I was 15 years old and I know a lot about it because I've loved it so much.
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That (sex) was the most fun I ever had without laughing.
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The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.
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I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
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Regarding love what can you say? It's not the quantity of your sexual relations that counts. It's the quality. On the other hand if the quantity drops below once every eight months, I would definitely look into it.
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I've had a very productive life. I've worked very hard, I've never fallen prey to depression. I'm not sure I could have done all of that without being in psychoanalysis.
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Those who can't do, teach!
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Sometimes some of the best moments are contributed by the actors being creative, with their own improvisations.
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Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.
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I think if you have a comic perspective, almost anything that happens you tend to put through a comic filter. It's a way of coping in the short term, but has no long term effect and requires constant, endless renewal. Hence people talk of comics who are always on. It's like constantly drugging your sensibility so you can get by with less pain.
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Those who can't do, teach. And those who can't teach, teach gym.
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One man starving puts a crimp in my evening.
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You always think another time would have been ideal for you . . . the reality is there was no novocaine when you went to the dentist.
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You mellow too much you ripen and rot.
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If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.
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Sex and death. Two things that come but once in my lifetime, but at least after death you're not nauseous.
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