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Some people think about sex all the time some people think of sex some of the time and some people never think about sex: they become lawyers.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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Think
Thinking
People
Lawyers
Lawyer
Sex
Become
Never
More quotes by Woody Allen
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work I want to achieve immortality through not dying. I don't want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen I want to live on in my apartment.
Woody Allen
You are much more dependent on luck than you think. People say if you want to have a good relationship, you have to work at it. But you never hear it about anything you really like, about sailing or going to soccer games.
Woody Allen
A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life.
Woody Allen
Whosoever loveth wisdom is righteous, but he that keepeth company with fowl is weird.
Woody Allen
Sometimes the critics will like a film, and the public doesn't come. Sometimes the critics won't like the film, and the public will come. It's completely spontaneous. It's a hazard.
Woody Allen
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
Woody Allen
Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriously.
Woody Allen
I wouldn't necessarily want to be a big muscular guy. It's nice to be gorgeous whether you're male or female assuming you don't lose whatever else you have.
Woody Allen
One man starving puts a crimp in my evening.
Woody Allen
When I'm not working, I think and I think when I get depressed.
Woody Allen
I was a smart kid and I was not understood by my parents.
Woody Allen
Your still searching for me in every woman. You'll always seek to duplicate what we had. You know it.
Woody Allen
Standard mathematics has recently been rendered obsolete by the discovery that for years we have been writing the numeral five backward. This has led to reevaluation of counting as a method of getting from one to ten. Students are taught advanced concepts of Boolean algebra, and formerly unsolvable equations are dealt with by threats of reprisals.
Woody Allen
Basically I am a low-culture person. I prefer watching baseball with a beer and some meatballs.
Woody Allen
I can do a limited amount of things and that's what I do and I feel comfortable doing it and I have no particular desire to do anything else as an actor.
Woody Allen
I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.
Woody Allen
It's easier to direct. If you direct something poorly and re-shoot it the next day, stage it better, make it work better, you have a lot of possibilities. You can edit it in certain ways so that it works, but there's no getting around weaknesses of the script.
Woody Allen
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
Woody Allen
I don't like to meet the actor and have a lot of conferences and talk about their sub-life and their off-screen life and their back stories and all that nonsense, because it never means anything.
Woody Allen
Talent is luck. The important thing in life is courage.
Woody Allen