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Life's hard, then you die.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Worms
Dies
Hard
Life
More quotes by Woody Allen
Sex on Twitter can't hurt you - unless you fall off.
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Let's say there was a burning building and you could rush in and you could save only one thing: either the last known copy of Shakespeare's plays or some anonymous human being. What would you do?
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Is it better to be the lover or the loved one? Neither, if your cholesterol is over six hundred. By love, of course, I refer to romantic love -- the love between man and woman, rather than between mother and child, or a boy and his dog, or two headwaiters.
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Last year I had difficulty with my income tax. I tried to take my analyst off as a business deduction. The Government said it was entertainment. We compromised finally and made it a religious contribution.
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Tradition is the illusion of permanance.
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Dying is like making love, except you don't get naseous afterwards.
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I had a mad impulse to throw you down on the lunar surface and commit interstellar perversion with you.
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Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful provided you get between the right man and the right woman.
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I call that mind free which jealously guards its intellectual rights and powers, which calls no man master, which does not content itself with a passive or hereditary faith, [and] receives new truth as an angel from Heaven.
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I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
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The whole concept of awards is silly. I cannot abide by the judgment of other people, because if you accept it when they say you deserve an award, then you have to accept it when they say you don't.
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[The universe is] haphazard, morally neutral, and unimaginably violent.
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There are three things Jewish people worship-God, Chinese food and wall-to-wall carpeting.
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The only love that lasts is unrequited love.
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I'm going to my psychoanalyst one more year, then I'm going to Lourdes.
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But it was I - yes I - who discovered the link between excessive masturbation and entry into politics!
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There's no correlation between what the public likes and what I'm after. I'm in a different world.
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Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
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What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.
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Drama, it would be as if you wrote some poetry. You'd run the risk of being embarrassed if people read it, because you're pouring your heart out and you're not mitigating it with any humor or anything.
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