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Life's hard, then you die.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Life
Worms
Dies
Hard
More quotes by Woody Allen
I have a great admiration for English actors and actresses and have used them at every opportunity over the years, but now I won't have to import them to New York.
Woody Allen
Let's say there was no terrorism whatsoever and we were all very nice to one another and we were all kind, we still would be faced with an extremely cruel and hostile universe and existence and so I'm a great pessimist and I feel that it's impossible really to be happy, and that the best you can hope for is to be distracted.
Woody Allen
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead - not sick, not wounded - dead.
Woody Allen
If I just got up in the morning and had no place to go and was retired or something, I would be sitting there and be thinking, Gee, what is the purpose of life? Why are we all finite? Why do we get old and die? Is there nothing out there? Why is it so tragic? Why do our loved ones perish? Why do we generate? Who wants to think about that stuff
Woody Allen
Your self-esteem is a notch below Kafka.
Woody Allen
Heaven knows, we all make mistakes. That's life - and chess.
Woody Allen
Psychoanalyses is like music lessons, for 5 years you do not notice any progress and suddenly you can play the piano.
Woody Allen
It figures you've got to hate yourself if you've got any integrity at all.
Woody Allen
I always thought it would be very funny if I was a blind film director.
Woody Allen
I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!
Woody Allen
If you are not failing now and again, its a sign you are not doing anything very innovative
Woody Allen
Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable with the possible exception of a moose singing 'Embraceable You' in spats.
Woody Allen
I don't know enough to be incompetent.
Woody Allen
Sylvia Plath. Interesting poetess whose tragic suicide was misinterpreted as romantic by the college-girl mentality.
Woody Allen
I'm really impotent against the overwhelming bleakness of the universe and the only thing I can do is my little gift [filmmaking] and do it the best I can, [...] which is cold comfort.
Woody Allen
It's hard for me to know. I'll think, 'I really brought off my ideas, it's great,' and no one sparks to it
Woody Allen
We stand at a crossroads. One path leads to despair, the other to destruction. Let's hope we make the right choice.
Woody Allen
The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife - a depressing thought, particularly for those who bothered to shave. Also, there is the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it's being held. On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily laying down.
Woody Allen
I'm not anti-social. I'm just not social.
Woody Allen
In the shower, with the hot water coming down, you've left the real world behind, and very frequently things open up for you. It's the change of venue, the unblocking the attempt to force the ideas that's crippling you when you're trying to write.
Woody Allen
