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Life's hard, then you die.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Worms
Dies
Hard
Life

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I didn't know he was dead I thought he was British.
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Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
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I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
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Every hooker I ever speak to tells me that it beats the hell out of waitressing.
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My films are a form of psychoanalysis, except that it is I who am paid, which changes everything.
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To me nature is... spiders and bugs, and big fish eating little fish, and plants eating plans, and animals eating... It's like an enormous restaurant, that's the way I see it.
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Me and nature are two.
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People think I'm an artist because my films lose money.
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I prefer the magic to reality, and have since I was 5 years old. Hopefully, I can continue to make films and constantly escape into them.
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For some reason it gives people pleasure to equate the life of certain movie actors or actresses with their actual lives.
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It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is quite a profitable sum, especially when one considers that the Mafia spends very little for office supplies.
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They were doing the Dying Swan at the ballet. And there was a rumor that some bookmarkers had drifted into town from upstate New York and that they had fixed the bullet. There was a lot of money bet on the swan to live.
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I always feel, I guess being a product of the movies of the 40s where movies were the greatest things and screens were big and palaces were palaces and stars were larger than life that reality was so much inferior to what we felt was conceivably possible from what we had seen in the movies.
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Well, trouble's my middle name. Actually, my middle name is Marion, but I don't want you spreading that around.
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I think [aging] has nothing to recommend it. You don't gain any wisdom as the years go by. You fall apart, is what happens. People try and put a nice varnish on it, and say, well, you mellow. You come to understand life and accept things. But you'd trade all of that for being 35 again.
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I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
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No Matter what you do there will be critics.
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I don't know enough to be incompetent.
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I can live in Paris for four months or London or, you know, Barcelona. These are places that are like New York. But I don't think I could live in many places. When I had to make a film in the United States I picked San Francisco because to me it's one of the great cities of America.
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I don't wanna live on in my work. I wanna live on in my apartment.
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