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Life's hard, then you die.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Worms
Dies
Hard
Life
More quotes by Woody Allen
I got a divorce because my ex-wife left me for another woman.
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What' s the matter with me? Why can't I be cool?
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Have you ever noticed that good people sleep better, but bad people seem to have more fun when they're awake?
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The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year.
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In certain areas I don't function well and in other areas I function very well. I'm very good professionally. I have good discipline, I'm able to write every day and do films and not go six times over the budget. I mean I'm a coherent person, but I also don't like to go through tunnels when I travel. I'm claustrophobic.
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None of the arts are any good unless you really are great at them.
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If you aren't failing, you aren't trying.
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I once stole a pornographic book that was printed in braille. I used to rub the dirty parts.
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When I am in New York, I want to be in Europe, and when I am in Europe, I want to be in New York.
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I can't express anger. I grow a tumor instead.
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90 per cent of success is turning up.
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There is no justice, there is no rational structure to it [life]. That is just the way it is, and each person figures out some way to cope.
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I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you take two negative points?
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Because it's much more pleasant to be obsessed over how the hero gets out of his predicament than it is over how I get out of mine.
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When you start putting a higher value on works of art than people, you’re forfeiting your humanity.
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You're so good looking I can barely keep my eyes on the meter.
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Isn't all mankind ultimately executed for a crime it never committed?
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If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
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It's a wonderful thing to be able to create your own world whenever you want to.
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Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad.
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