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I don't own a computer. I've never seen anything online at all - nothing. I don't own a word processor. I have none of that stuff. It's not an act of rebellion. I'm just not a gadget person.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Anything
Gadgets
Persons
Rebellion
Person
Online
Nothing
None
Never
Computer
Seen
Processor
Word
Gadget
Stuff
Processors

More quotes by Woody Allen

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[An audience conditioned by a lifetime of television-watching is so corrupted that] their standards have been systematically lowered over the years. These guys sit in front of their sets and the gamma rays eat the white cells of their brains out!
Woody Allen
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If you take a frown and turn it upside down, the person you are holding by the ankles will soon pass out.
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I like broad comedy. If I had an idea tomorrow for a film that was all slapstick and broad comedy, and it was an idea that interested me, I would not hesitate to do it because I enjoy watching these kinds of film.
Woody Allen
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I am plagued by doubts.
Woody Allen
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I can't express anger. I grow a tumor instead.
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I can live in Paris for four months or London or, you know, Barcelona. These are places that are like New York. But I don't think I could live in many places. When I had to make a film in the United States I picked San Francisco because to me it's one of the great cities of America.
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I'm a terrible musician. While the band members are great, I'm tolerated and affectionately regarded because I do movies, but if I had to make my living as a musician I would starve. I'm like a Sunday tennis player.
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You can be with your wife, very happily married, and then you meet some woman and you love her. But you love your wife, too. And you also love that one. Or if she's met some man and she loves the man and she loves you. And then you meet somebody else and now there are three of you. Why only one person?
Woody Allen
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Sentence structure is innate, but whining is acquired.
Woody Allen
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For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have.
Woody Allen
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Don't you see the rest of the country looks upon New York like we're left-wing, communist, Jewish, homosexual pornographers? I think of us that way sometimes and I live here.
Woody Allen
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What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
Woody Allen
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My ex-wife was a philosophy major at NYU. Yeah, she and I used to have deep philosophical discussions where she would prove that I didn't exist.
Woody Allen
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If God is everywhere, I had concluded, then He is in food. Therefore, the more I ate the godlier I would become. Impelled by this new religious fervor, I glutted myself like a fanatic.
Woody Allen
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All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
Woody Allen
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The whole country was tied together by radio. We all experienced the same heroes and comedians and singers. They were giants.
Woody Allen
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Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
Woody Allen
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How wrong Emily Dickinson was! Hope is not the thing with feathers. The thing with feathers has turned out to be my nephew. I must take him to a specialist in Zurich.
Woody Allen
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My relationship with American audiences is the exact same as it always has been. They never came to see my films, and they don't come now.
Woody Allen
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Comedians have a tendency to have a limited range, they tend to do one thing and do it very well, but it's limited.
Woody Allen