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I don't own a computer. I've never seen anything online at all - nothing. I don't own a word processor. I have none of that stuff. It's not an act of rebellion. I'm just not a gadget person.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Anything
Gadgets
Persons
Rebellion
Person
Online
Nothing
None
Never
Computer
Seen
Processor
Word
Gadget
Stuff
Processors

More quotes by Woody Allen

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Achilles only had an Achilles heel, I have an entire Achilles body.
Woody Allen
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I cannot say for certain that God does not exist I think the worst thing that can be said about him is that he's a bit of an underachiever.
Woody Allen
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When a film is reviled, you open a film and people say Oh, it's the stupidest thing, it's the worst movie. You think: oh, nobody's going to ever speak to you again. But, it doesn't happen. Nobody cares. You know, they read it and they say Oh, they hated your film. You care, at the time. But they don't. Nobody else cares.
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Once munching has begun, Schopenhauer held, the human will cannot resist further munching, and the result is a universe with crumbs over everything.
Woody Allen
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Every success is built on the ability to do better than good enough. As you climb the ladder of success, be sure it's leaning against the right building. Eighty percent of success is showing up.
Woody Allen
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The roe is reputed to sleep for a thousand years and then suddenly rise in flames, particularly if it was smoking when it dozed off.
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Since I was a kid, I could make up stories, I could make up funny jokes and I could always do it. When I'm walking down the street or having dinner, ideas will hit me, and I write them down on matchbooks or napkins and throw them in the draw.
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I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you take two negative points?
Woody Allen
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In short, the best thing to do is behave in a manner befitting one's age. If you are sixteen or under, try not to go bald.
Woody Allen
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The Jewish culture - people that are Jewish have a certain cultural habit that they've formed and one of those habits is an appreciation of theater and music - these are cultural things one does associate with values that are promulgated by Jewish families. I think that's a good thing.
Woody Allen
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I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
Woody Allen
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The audience goes to sleep really quickly! If you have a slight pause at the wrong time, that's it!
Woody Allen
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I'm a comedian. I make comic films and there are certain ideas that occur to me that are comic, with heavy, serious undertones. There are some ideas that are more frivolous to me. The next idea that could occur to me could be comedy about death and famine or something.
Woody Allen
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I usually want to crawl into the ground after I make a film, almost invariably.
Woody Allen
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Someday the lion is going to lie down with the lamb, but the lamb isn't going to get much sleep.
Woody Allen
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Please forgive me. My pedicurist had a stroke. She fell forward onto the orange stick and plunged it into my toe. It required bandaging.
Woody Allen
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I consider myself a completely lucky filmmaker. I've had nothing but good luck. Everything I've needed has come my way.
Woody Allen
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Man cannot live by bread alone. Every once in awhile he needs a salad.
Woody Allen
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My parents were very Old World. They come from Brooklyn, which is the heart of the Old World. Their values in life are God and carpeting.
Woody Allen
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I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
Woody Allen