Quote

The French make two mistakes about me. They think I'm an intellectual because I wear these glasses and they think I'm an artist because my films lose money.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Loses
French
Artist
Glasses
Money
Myth
Film
Mistakes
Two
Wear
Years
Films
Make
Intellectual
Think
Lose

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Dying is like making love, except you don't get naseous afterwards.
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Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
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I idolized Superman when I was younger. I thought he and I had a lot in common. He was always going into phonebooths and taking off all his clothes.
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Anything worth knowing cannot be understood by the human mind.
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I learned a few things on my own since, and modified some of the things he taught me, but everything, unequivocally, that I learned about comedy writing I learned from Danny Simon.
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I spend a lot of time idly. I go to sporting events, play my clarinet. I practise. But if you work every day, a certain amount on a steady basis, the work accumulates.
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Drama, it would be as if you wrote some poetry. You'd run the risk of being embarrassed if people read it, because you're pouring your heart out and you're not mitigating it with any humor or anything.
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I, interestingly, had dated a woman in the Eisenhower Administration briefly, and it was ironic to me 'cause I was trying to do toher what Eisenhower has been doing to the country for the last eight years.
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A general philosophy of the female characters in my films is they all want something to believe in, and not having anything.
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I do believe that reality is dreadful and that you are forced to choose it in the end or go crazy, but that it kills you.
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Music has always helped my films. In 'The Curse Of The Jade Scorpion,' you can hear 'Sunrise' by Glenn Miller, an idol of my childhood, in the surprise ending. I like mixing comedy with suspense and action.
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There's no way to prove that there is no God. You just have to take it on faith.
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Everything in life turns out to be a distraction from the real thing you want to do. There are a million distractions and when I was a kid I was very disciplined. I knew that the other kids weren't. I was the one able to do the thing, not because I had more talent, maybe less, but because they simply weren't applying themselves.
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I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.
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I got a divorce because my ex-wife left me for another woman.
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If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.
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For some reason I'm more appreciated in France than I am back home. The subtitles must be incredibly good.
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I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
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To me there’s no real difference between a fortune teller or a fortune cookie and any of the organized religions. They’re all equally valid or invalid, really. And equally helpful.
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Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
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