Quote

The French make two mistakes about me. They think I'm an intellectual because I wear these glasses and they think I'm an artist because my films lose money.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Film
Mistakes
Two
Wear
Years
Films
Make
Intellectual
Think
Lose
Loses
French
Artist
Glasses
Money
Myth

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Who's the bigger idiot, the idiot or the idiot who gets fooled by the idiot?
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In perpetrating a revolution, there are two requirements: someone or something to revolt against and someone to actually show up and do the revolting. Dress is usually casual and both parties may be flexible about time and place, but if either faction fails to attend, the whole enterprise is likely to come off badly.
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I got a divorce because my ex-wife left me for another woman.
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Basically I am a low-culture person. I prefer watching baseball with a beer and some meatballs.
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I carry a bullet in my breast pocket. Once, a crazy evangelist threw a bible at me, which would have gone through my heart if it wasn't for the bullet.
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Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right.
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You'll live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to.
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When I get up in the morning, I go and I work with beautiful women and charming men and funny comedians and dramatic artists. And I'm presented with costumes and great music to choose from and sets. I travel a certain amount of places, so I've been living in a bubble. And I like it.
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While we're waiting for a cab I'll give you your lesson for today. Don't listen to what your teachers tell ya, you know. Don't pay attention. Just, just see what they look like and that's how you'll know what life is really gonna be like.
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Of all human weakness obsession is the most dangerous. And the silliest.
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I would never wanna belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member.
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Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
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My parents were very Old World. They come from Brooklyn, which is the heart of the Old World. Their values in life are God and carpeting.
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Show business is dog eat dog. It's worse than dog eat dog. It's dog doesn't return dog's phone calls.
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The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only when it's done right.
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I cannot say for certain that God does not exist I think the worst thing that can be said about him is that he's a bit of an underachiever.
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My films are therapy for my debilitating depression. In institutions people weave baskets. I make films.
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I idolized Superman when I was younger. I thought he and I had a lot in common. He was always going into phonebooths and taking off all his clothes.
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Everyone wants to get out of living where they're living now, because life is a pretty tough proposition and not much fun. But when you think back to earlier times, you only extrapolate the nice things.
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There's nothing wrong with you that a little Prozac and a polo mallet can't cure.
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