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The French make two mistakes about me. They think I'm an intellectual because I wear these glasses and they think I'm an artist because my films lose money.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Make
Intellectual
Think
Lose
Loses
French
Artist
Glasses
Money
Myth
Film
Mistakes
Two
Wear
Years
Films
More quotes by Woody Allen
If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
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The heart is a very, very resilient little muscle. It really is.
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I don't like theatrical actors and actresses. I like people that talk like real human beings.
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The true test of maturity is not how old a person is but how he reacts to awakening in the mid-town area in his shorts.
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I've had bad luck in my two previous marriages. The first wife left me, and the second did not.
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90% of success in life is showing up
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The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year.
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I've inherited the worst of each parent. I have my father's hypochondria and lack of concentration. I have his amorality. I have everything bad that he had. Then I have my mother's surly, pill-like, complaining, whining attitude.
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I'm a big believer in supporting the action on film with the appropriate music. It covers a multitude of sins. It's gotten me out of a lot of jams, over the years. So, music for me is a very big thing in films and I use it unashamedly.
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The heart wants what it wants. There's no logic to these things. You meet someone and you fall in love and that's that.
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No Matter what you do there will be critics.
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You're so good looking I can barely keep my eyes on the meter.
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Life is a concentration camp. You're stuck here and there's no way out and you can only rage impotently against your persecutors.
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A Bay Area Bisexual told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
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Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!
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God is either cruel or incompetent.
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To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer. Not to love is to suffer.
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I should go to Paris and jump off of the Eiffel Tower. If I took the Concorde, I could be dead three hours earlier.
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Those modern analysts, they charge so much! In my day, for five marks Freud himself would treat you. For ten marks he would treat you and press your pants. For fifteen marks Freud would let you treat him - that included a choice of any two vegetables.
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I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving dishes for Chinese restaurants.
Woody Allen
