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I don't fear death. - I just don't want to be around when it happens.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Death
Happens
Around
Fear

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Usually, you hire people that you think are wonderful.
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We stand at a crossroads. One path leads to despair, the other to destruction. Let's hope we make the right choice.
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I have no regard for that kind of ceremony. I just don't think they know what they're doing. When you see who wins those things-or who doesn't win them-you can see how meaningless this Oscar thing is.
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Notes for a ballet, The Spell: ... Suddenly Sigmund hears the flutter of wings, and a group of wild swans flies across the moon ... Sigmund is astounded to see that their leader is part swan and part woman - unfortunately, divided lengthwise. She enchants Sigmund, who is careful not to make any poultry jokes.
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I'm trying to arrange my life so I don't have to be present.
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Magic has always been of a great interest of mine. I was an amateur magician when I was young. I used to practice and read up on it a lot. I'm well-aware of the history of magic.
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The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5' 7, it is impossible to get your congressman on the phone.
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There are three things Jewish people worship-God, Chinese food and wall-to-wall carpeting.
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When I am in New York, I want to be in Europe, and when I am in Europe, I want to be in New York.
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Should I marry W? Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name. And what about her career? How can I ask a woman of her beauty to give up the Roller Derby? Decisions...
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I always thought that as long as man is mortal, he will never be relaxed.
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Every hooker I ever speak to tells me that it beats the hell out of waitressing.
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Talent is luck. The important thing in life is courage.
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What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?
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I believe people ought to mate for life...like pigeons or Catholics.
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I've always liked, someday the lamb will lay by the lion.... but it won't get much sleep.
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I wouldn't necessarily want to be a big muscular guy. It's nice to be gorgeous whether you're male or female assuming you don't lose whatever else you have.
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Better not think too much. Relying more on the body: it is more trustworthy.
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Who's the bigger idiot, the idiot or the idiot who gets fooled by the idiot?
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