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I don't fear death. - I just don't want to be around when it happens.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Fear
Death
Happens
Around

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Cynicism is reality with an alternate spelling.
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No, I don't think you're paranoid. I think you're the opposite of paranoid. I think you walk around with the insane delusion that people like you.
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I've become the person I've always hated, but I'm happier.
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If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
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There have been times when I've thought about it - but with my luck it would probably turn out to be only a temporary solution.
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The roe is reputed to sleep for a thousand years and then suddenly rise in flames, particularly if it was smoking when it dozed off.
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I'm giving [my analyst] one more year--then I'm going to Lourdes.
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I love the rain - it washes memories off the sidewalk of life.
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To me nature is... spiders and bugs, and big fish eating little fish, and plants eating plans, and animals eating... It's like an enormous restaurant, that's the way I see it.
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I can make films. And some of them come out good, and some of them come out better, and some of them come out worse. But I've been very lucky over the years to be able to sustain the length of career that I've had.
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I'm not saying I didn't enjoy myself, but I didn't.
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In life, one is entitled to a side dish of either coleslaw or potato salad, and the choice must be made in terror, with the knowledge that not only is our time on earth limited but most kitchens close at ten.
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Abysmal vermin that I am, I couldn't of course tell her that it was her incredible mother that I wanted to see again… I knew only as I drove through the cold, night autumn air that somewhere Freud, Sophocles and Eugene O’Neill were laughing.
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It's important to control yourself because life gets too complicated if you don't, but the impulse is often there for people. Some say society should be more open. That doesn't work either.
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The heart wants what it wants.
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Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
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Do I believe in God? I did until Mother's accident. She fell on some meat loaf and it penetrated her spleen.
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Show business is dog eat dog. It's worse than dog eat dog. It's dog doesn't return dog's phone calls.
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My mother never had time for me. When you're the middle child in a family of five million, you don't get any attention.
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I'm at the stage of life when if a girl says no to me I'm profoundly grateful to her.
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