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I believe in sex and death- two experiences that come once in a lifetime.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Experiences
Lifetime
Sex
Death
Two
Come
Believe

More quotes by Woody Allen

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People ask me whether I think that one day I might wake up one morning and run dry, but I've had the opposite feeling - that I would die before I had time to write all the ideas in my drawer.
Woody Allen
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The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind -- a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you've just made a down payment on a house.
Woody Allen
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When I'm writing something, if there's a part that's good for me, then I'll play it. Otherwise, I don't. And I notice that there are less and less parts for me in my own writing.
Woody Allen
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I prefer to achieve immortality by not dying.
Woody Allen
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You can't control life. It doesn't wind up perfectly. Only-only art you can control. Art and masturbation. Two areas in which I am an absolute expert.
Woody Allen
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I believe people ought to mate for life...like pigeons or Catholics.
Woody Allen
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All the crap they tell you about... getting joy and having a kind of wisdom in your golden years - it's all tripe.
Woody Allen
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The movie is usually, for me, something organic that grows all the time. I sit home and write it, and I'm in an isolated, four-walled environment, and I don't know what's going on. I just write it, and it's appearing in my head in some idealized way where every single moment works, and every little thing is perfect, because it's in my head.
Woody Allen
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I'm short enough and ugly enough to succeed on my own.
Woody Allen
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The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.
Woody Allen
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If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.
Woody Allen
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I never wanted to or expected to make a film outside of New York. New York became very, very expensive. The same $18 million spent in Barcelona or Rome goes much further there.
Woody Allen
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When a film is reviled, you open a film and people say Oh, it's the stupidest thing, it's the worst movie. You think: oh, nobody's going to ever speak to you again. But, it doesn't happen. Nobody cares. You know, they read it and they say Oh, they hated your film. You care, at the time. But they don't. Nobody else cares.
Woody Allen
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Every success is built on the ability to do better than good enough. As you climb the ladder of success, be sure it's leaning against the right building. Eighty percent of success is showing up.
Woody Allen
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Achilles only had an Achilles heel, I have an entire Achilles body.
Woody Allen
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I don't think my film style has changed. I'm doing the same kind of jokes I did when I was younger.
Woody Allen
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We live in far too permissive a society. Never before has pornography been this rampant. And those films are so badly lit!
Woody Allen
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It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blowing off.
Woody Allen
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How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
Woody Allen
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Taste my tuna casserole - tell me if I put in too much hot fudge.
Woody Allen