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If you aren't failing, you aren't trying.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Aren
Failing
Trying

More quotes by Woody Allen

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If God is everywhere, I had concluded, then He is in food. Therefore, the more I ate the godlier I would become. Impelled by this new religious fervor, I glutted myself like a fanatic.
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I never considered myself an artist. I aspire to be an artist, but I never thought I had the depth or substance or gift to be an artist. I do think I have some talent, but it doesn't go as far as being an artist.
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Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.
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It's a match made in heaven...by a retarded angel.
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Those who can't do, teach. And those who can't teach, teach gym.
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I have no idea what I am doing but incompetence has never prevented me from plunging in with enthusiasm.
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The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.
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I write the script nobody sees it, not the people that put the money in the picture. I cast who I want, and make the film. That's why I've always felt the only thing standing between me and greatness, is me. There's no excuse for me not to be great except that I'm not.
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I do occasionally envy the person who is religious naturally, without being brainwashed into it or suckered into it by all the organized hustles.
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More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
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The whole thrust of science and the medical profession is to try and prevent it from happening, to try to prolong life, to keep you from dying, to keep you from getting older, to rejuvenate you. I mean, that's everybody's wish. The fountain of youth is everybody's sought-after thing.
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How the hell do I know why there were Nazis? I don't know how the can-opener works.
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A fast word about oral contraception. I was involved in an extremely good example of oral contraception two weeks ago. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
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Science is an intellectual dead end, you know? It's a lot of little guys in tweed suits cutting up frogs on foundation grants.
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This year I'm a star, but what will I be next year? A black hole?
Woody Allen
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Humorists always sit at the children's table.
Woody Allen
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I believe in sex and death- two experiences that come once in a lifetime.
Woody Allen
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Eternity is really long, especially near the end.
Woody Allen
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After 60, all of us belong to the weaker sex.
Woody Allen
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What is so fascinating about sitting around watching a bunch of pituitary cases stuff a ball through a hoop?
Woody Allen