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If you aren't failing, you aren't trying.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Trying
Aren
Failing
More quotes by Woody Allen
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
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The most important words in the English language are not 'I love you' but 'it's benign.'
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Sex is better than talk. Ask anybody in this bar. Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex.
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Have you ever taken a serious political stand on anything? Yeah. Sure. For twenty-four hours once I refused to eat grapes.
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I feel humor is important for those two reasons: that it is a little bit of refreshment like music, and that women have told me over the years that it is very, very important to them.
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Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right.
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When I was born my mother was terribly disappointed. Not that she wanted a girl - she wanted a divorce.
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I always felt that the problems of the world would never ever be solved until people came to terms with the deeper issues [spiritual] - that there would be an aimless reshuffling of world leaders and governments and programs.
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To me there’s no real difference between a fortune teller or a fortune cookie and any of the organized religions. They’re all equally valid or invalid, really. And equally helpful.
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Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.
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If I had my life to live over, I wish I could be a great pianist or something.
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Me sitting down for dinner with Ingmar Bergman felt like a house painter sitting down with Picasso.
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I read in self-defense.
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I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
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There will be no major solution to the suffering of humanity until we reach some understanding of who we are, what the purpose of creation was, what happens after death. Until those questions are resolved we are caught.
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If you're born with a gift, to behave like it's an achievement is not right.
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Love may be the answer, but even though you're watching for the solution, intercourse raises some rather interesting thoughts.
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Should I marry W.? Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name.
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I got a divorce because my ex-wife left me for another woman.
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That's the way I feel about the world: there are certain problems that can only be dealt with that way - going out and doing them. As ugly a truth as that is, I do think it's the truth about the world.
Woody Allen
