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If you aren't failing, you aren't trying.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Trying
Aren
Failing
More quotes by Woody Allen
I like broad comedy. If I had an idea tomorrow for a film that was all slapstick and broad comedy, and it was an idea that interested me, I would not hesitate to do it because I enjoy watching these kinds of film.
Woody Allen
Everything in life turns out to be a distraction from the real thing you want to do. There are a million distractions and when I was a kid I was very disciplined. I knew that the other kids weren't. I was the one able to do the thing, not because I had more talent, maybe less, but because they simply weren't applying themselves.
Woody Allen
I write about what I want to write about, and so the film comes out as a very personal expression even if its subject matter is totally prefabricated.
Woody Allen
Gauguin flew into a frenzy! He held my head under the X-ray machine for ten straight minutes and for several hours after I could not blink my eyes in unison. — If The Impressionists Had Been Dentists
Woody Allen
Curiosity, that's what kills us. Not muggers or all that bullshit about the ozone layer. It's our own hearts and minds.
Woody Allen
Ads answered out of desperation in the New York Review of Books proved equally futile as…the 'Bay Area Bisexual' told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
Woody Allen
Astronomers say the universe is finite, which is a comforting thought for those people who can't remember where they leave things.
Woody Allen
Cynicism is reality with an alternate spelling.
Woody Allen
The true test of maturity is not how old a person is but how he reacts to awakening in the mid-town area in his shorts.
Woody Allen
I keep wondering if there is an afterlife, and if there is will they be able to break a twenty?
Woody Allen
Problems are like toilet paper. You pull on one and ten more come.
Woody Allen
Where did we come from? Where are we going? Is there possibility of a group discount?
Woody Allen
My mind can never know my body, although it has become quite friendly with my legs.
Woody Allen
When a doctor makes a mistake, it's best to bury the subject.
Woody Allen
Why not? Life is short, life is dull, life is full of pain - and this is a chance for something special.
Woody Allen
My films are misinterpreted all the time. I don't mind that. Everybody's films are misinterpreted. But there's no malice or stupidity in the people that misinterpret them. You know what you do, but someone else sees it, and they want to talk about it or write about it, and so they misinterpret them.
Woody Allen
No, I don't think you're paranoid. I think you're the opposite of paranoid. I think you walk around with the insane delusion that people like you.
Woody Allen
The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have.
Woody Allen
My grandfather was a very insignificant man, actually. At his funeral his hearse followed the other cars.
Woody Allen
I can't express anger. I grow a tumor instead.
Woody Allen
