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Everything is controlled by a small evil group to which, unfortunately, no one we know belongs.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
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Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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Groups
Small
Evil
Everything
Belongs
Unfortunately
Controlled
More quotes by Woody Allen
If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.
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Chastity is curable, if detected early.
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I'm going to my psychoanalyst one more year, then I'm going to Lourdes.
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How the hell do I know why there were Nazis? I don't know how the can-opener works.
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The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind -- a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you've just made a down payment on a house.
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A tree never hits an automobile except in self defense.
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It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is quite a profitable sum, especially when one considers that the Mafia spends very little for office supplies.
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He adored New York City. He idolized it all out of proportion... no, make that: he - he romanticized it all out of proportion. Yes. To him, no matter what the season was, this was still a town that existed in black and white and pulsated to the great tunes of George Gershwin.
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You are much more dependent on luck than you think. People say if you want to have a good relationship, you have to work at it. But you never hear it about anything you really like, about sailing or going to soccer games.
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Some people want to achieve immortality through their works or their descendants. I prefer to achieve immortality by not dying.
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In a relationship, it is better to be the leaver than the leavee.
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When I naturally write a story and I feel that the guy is sitting across the table from the girl and flirting with her... I think, 'God, that can't be me' because I'm just too old for that part. You need a 30-year-old or a 35-year-old for that part. And so I've given myself less and less roles.
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Fantasy is seductive and much more wonderful than reality, but you can't take it to the bank. It's always an escape. And if used as an escape, as in attending a movie or a show for a circumscribed period of time, it's fine. When it starts to become undifferentiated from reality, it leads to big trouble.
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I can't imagine any director directing a screenplay of mine, because the great directors all have very personal styles, and the ones that don't are not very interesting directors.
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You can be with your wife, very happily married, and then you meet some woman and you love her. But you love your wife, too. And you also love that one. Or if she's met some man and she loves the man and she loves you. And then you meet somebody else and now there are three of you. Why only one person?
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There will be no major solution to the suffering of humanity until we reach some understanding of who we are, what the purpose of creation was, what happens after death. Until those questions are resolved we are caught.
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Problems are like toilet paper. You pull on one and ten more come.
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Many people who get a lot of money are willing to work with me for no money. This is true.
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What' s the matter with me? Why can't I be cool?
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How does gravity work? And if it were to cease suddenly, would certain restaurants still require a jacket?
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