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I keep wondering if there is an afterlife, and if there is will they be able to break a twenty?

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Wondering
Twenty
Twenties
Wonder
Break
Keep
Able
Afterlife

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Where did we come from? Where are we going? Is there possibility of a group discount?
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The process of making films is so technically demanding that it's a distraction. You don't spend your time thinking about the philosophical content, which is often very depressing.
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I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me.
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The artist's job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence.
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In the shower, with the hot water coming down, you've left the real world behind, and very frequently things open up for you. It's the change of venue, the unblocking the attempt to force the ideas that's crippling you when you're trying to write.
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I am not afraid of death. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
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I can't understand why more people aren't bisexual. It would double your chances for a date on Saturday night.
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God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.
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The whole country was tied together by radio. We all experienced the same heroes and comedians and singers. They were giants.
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Is it better to be the lover or the loved one? Neither, if your cholesterol is over six hundred. By love, of course, I refer to romantic love -- the love between man and woman, rather than between mother and child, or a boy and his dog, or two headwaiters.
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Sometimes the critics will like a film, and the public doesn't come. Sometimes the critics won't like the film, and the public will come. It's completely spontaneous. It's a hazard.
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Problems are like toilet paper. You pull on one and ten more come.
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When you work from city to city or country to country, you work the same way the working method is the same.
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The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only when it's done right.
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I once stole a pornographic book that was printed in braille. I used to rub the dirty parts.
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The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife - a depressing thought, particularly for those who bothered to shave. Also, there is the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it's being held. On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily laying down.
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You are always a comedian by default. You are this way because you've been forced to be this way, but it is better to be the hero. So if you can be a persona, the great one of my lifetime of course was and is Marlon Brando.
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My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
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Change is almost always negative. Things degenerate.
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I can do a limited amount of things and that's what I do and I feel comfortable doing it and I have no particular desire to do anything else as an actor.
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